Tag: fun

Beetlejuice Ring Minder

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Beetlejuice Ring Minder
Steps into a tiny room full of spikes going every which way. Closes the door and gets into the only safe corner. Clears throat.

“Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice.”

Dude materializes with a smile, instantly gets ready to pull his funny/crazy crap, but doesn’t because he instantly is impaled on spikes that he materialized into. And THAT is how you get rid of Beetlejuice. Now you know how to handle that crazy sumb-itch!

Let’s talk rings. Are you the lord of them? I’m J.R.R. Talkin’ to you. If you have more rings than you know what to do with, this Beetlejuice Ring Minder is a stylish way to display them. Once you’ve rid yourself of that Beetlejuice freak of course. Now you know how.

Leather Cat Purse

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Leather Cat Purse
Wait, wait, wait! Let me see if I have this expression straight. The cat’s out of the bag. But how can it be, when this Leather Cat Purse clearly shows that the cat IS the bag? Is the bag now out of the cat? No, really, this is messing with my head. I can’t tell if this thing is the cat’s meow or the cat’s pajamas. Is it ketchup or catsup? Now I’m freaking out man! Cat have your tongue? No, but it can hold your lipstick and other stuff.

Anyway, look what the cat dragged in. This awesome purse. Ha ha. It looks like the cat that ate the canary. ha ha. I’m losing it. Losing it. Like a cat on a hot tin roof. I need to go meow.

Classic Monster Cereals With Modern Horror Movie Characters

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Classic Monster Cereals With Modern Horror Movie Characters
Check out these Monster cereals with horror movie characters on the box. Minnesota-based artist Kate Willaert created these for HalloweenCostumes.com. They make for a not so balanced breakfast. The characters include: Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees, Krampus and more. Sometimes I hate the internet. I saw these and spent half a day trying to find them in like 10 stores, then I came home and read the wordstuff where I found them. Yeah. Not real. If only there were some way to take the internet with me when I’m out. That would save me a lot of time. Then there might be a reason for all of those people to stare at their phone while shopping. Idiots.
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Weird Monster Sconce

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Weird Monster Sconce
There’s a monster in my wall. No, seriously. You should see my electricity bill. This Monster Sconce looks like he’s bursting through your wall and he’s brought his own light sources, which I would replace with beer cans. Hey monster, beer me. Thanks! *Grabs it from his hand.*

Click through for an awesome shot of this monster looking totally psyched over a can of Campbell’s soup. He friggin’ loves that stuff. He’s all like F Yeah! Gonna get all souped-up like an old time hot rod.
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Halloween Spell Books

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Halloween Spell Books
Ohhhhhh. Halloween Spell Books from HauntedMoonEmporium. I hope they have something that turns Necco Wafers into Kit-Kats cuz that really pisses me off. Reminds me of that one Halloween when I found a spell book by a hot cauldron and a pile of ashes with a witch hat on top. I remember it well:

*Re-reads the page.* Okay, it says to lay my hand flat and put a tootsie roll on each finger and on my palm. Alacashizz. Alacashat. By moonlight, by moonlight. The bat took a crap! *Blinding flash of light* Da fuq? *Turns my new tootsie roll hand around and inspects it.*

I was stuck with that damn candy hand for 2 years! Okay, I lied. It only lasted for like a week, cuz I kept sucking on it. Then my hand grew back. Witches. Who writes spells like that? Probably that weird homeless lady with the mole on her nose, who keeps stalking me and licking at her fingers. Something tells me our paths will cross again.
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