You Have Just Been Poisoned Drinking Glass

You Have Just Been Poisoned Drinking Glass
*Glug glug glug. Ahhhhhh. Refreshing.* You Have Just Been Poisoned. What in the holy hemlock? Depending on how fast the poison acts, I have between 2 seconds and 10 hours to solve my own murder. First, who would want to harm me? I’ll never get through that list in time. Who could have done it? I’m here all alone. That’s it! I have another personality and they want me dead. I’ll show them. Fills up the cup with poison and Sunny D. No one can resist Sunny D. Now I just wait for them to show up and drink. *Falls asleep waiting*

*Stretches and yawns as I wake up.* Mouth…so…dry. Mmmmm. Yummy Sunny D. *Glug glug glug* You have just been poisoned.

God Damnit!

Who could have done this? Who wants me dead?

11 Freaky Halloween Pet Costumes

creepy halloween pet costumes
You may not know this, but your animals like to dress up for Halloween too. You wouldn’t know, because you are distracted by human Halloween. Check out these freaktastic pet costumes. These are the kinds of costumes that earn a dog an extra treat and a cat an extra pet. Not really. Most of these are downright freaky. Terrifying even. Like the Ghostbusters Zuul Demon Dog above.
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Zombie Tarot Cards

Zombie Tarot Cards
Look at the Zombie Tarot Cards. What do you see in my future? Is it bad? Is it the death card? Worse? Ohhhh the undead card. That sounds worse somehow. I’m just gonna shoot myself now, cuz all that walking around that zombies do looks wayyyy too tiring.

The upside is, if the zombies rise up, we can all attach our fitbits to their rotting wrists and brag about all the miles we’ve walked. People would be all like, “Then why are you still so fat?” Two words. Thyroid condition. Yeah, so back off.
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Humpty Dumpty Halloween Weirdness

Humpty Dumpty Halloween Weirdness
Here’s something to get egg-cited about. Etsy seller AllysonNagelOriginal makes all kinds of weird, but cool, Humpty Dumpty porcelain figures and scenes. I hear they were still making these figures right up until Yolk-o broke up the band and left things scrambled.

These figures are fun. They make me want to do the Humpty Dance with all of you. *Some woman in Iowa gasps in horror, then calls the police to try to stop this mass orgy before it happens.* Chill lady. I mean it in a non-pervy way. For once. Check out the bonus video below.

Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump.
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Mad Scientist 1:12 Miniature Laboratory Set

Miniature Laboratory Set
Sweet. A Mad Scientist 1:12 Miniature Laboratory Set. For very tiny Mad Scientists. Why are scientists so mad anyway? Probably because they have to wear lab coats all the time and can’t rock a fancy sweater-vest or UFO Jacket.

I’m buying it. That way if someone ever shrinks me down, I have a lab already set up and can make a potion to make me big again. *Knocks back a test tube full of blue junk.* Glug glug glug. It’s working! It’s working! *Head braeks through the ceiling. Stuck there. Looks around at the roof and birds and stuff.*

Good thing I’m prepared. Ordered another set to keep on the roof in case of exactly this kind of emergency. Now where’d it go. I- Da Fuq? Get away from that lab, squirrel! Is that meth? Oh sh*t. It’s all methed up and coming for me.
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