Tag: gadget

Halloween Michael Myers 8 GB USB Flash Drive

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michael meyers flash drive
This Michael Myers 8 GB Flash Drive is all about storing your data. As opposed to, you know, killing people in great numbers every Halloween. Come on Mike. Why ya gotta be like that? If someone ticks you off on Halloween, just egg their house. Throw some toilet paper in their tree. Put soap and shaving cream on their car. He’s always taking things too far.

Well, now he wants to make up for it by storing your images and songs and stuff in his little demented body. He’s about 2 inches tall and doubles as a key chain.
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Necronomicon Tablet Cover: Protect Your iPad, Doom The World

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necronomicon coverHey, thanks for the Necronomicon tablet cover. What a great gift! Now every time I play Angry Birds I’m opening a portal to some ancient and evil place. No, really, I’m enjoying it. Just what I wanted. I love getting choked by a Cthulhu tentacle in the middle of the night as it reaches out of my tablet. Know what else I love? Coming home from work and finding cultists in a circle in my livingroom playing Fruit Ninja and eating all my snacks.

Oh man, those veins on the cover are bulging. *A dark wind is kicking up, swirling about a nasty sulfur smell* This ain’t good! Yeah, I really love my gift you a**hole. Next time get me a blender. Hold on to some furniture! Prepare for what I like to call a demon fart!
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This Must Be That iWatch I’ve Been Hearing About

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iwatchOh yeah. That’s the iWatch I’ve been hearing about all over the interwebs. Yep. It’s shaped like an apple alright. And I bet it has all kinds of crazy apps. Stuff like an app telling me how much I will fart based on my current intake of beer and pretzels and an app that will tell me how much fat I’m not burning as I order my sweet new watch online.

It’s a lot cheaper than I thought it would be. Haha suckers! I’m getting mine now, not waiting in some line for 5 days hoping to be blessed by Steve Job’s ghost as you enter the ancient and sacred temple of Tak’a’ma’money.

Scary Superhero Nutcrackers

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nutcrackerSuperheros are all about cracking down on crime and that means cracking bad guy nuts when they have too. So superhero nutcrackers make a whole lot of sense.

These nutcrackers from Etsy seller ARTBYBART are pretty scary looking. And the all have balls for fists. I see a freaky nut/ball pattern here. Not saying this guy has peen on his mind, just saying it seems weird because I obviously have it on my mind. Let’s just leave it there. I got more issues than DC and Marvel combined. You don’t want to be flippin’ through the pages!

Click through for more, including the Joker, Wonder Woman and Optimus Prime.
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8GB Condom USB Flash Drive

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condom usb driveAt last, I have a use for condoms. See that? You were wrong mom! I WILL use one. Just not in the way you thought. And not with a woman.

Now you can store your data in a condom, instead of your peen. 8GB? Phaw! I need a Magnum because I’m packing 16GB. Only $15.50 from Amazon.
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