Tag: gadget

Aluminum Bat LED Flashlight: See Things At Night, Beat Them Senseless

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flashlight baseball bat
This Aluminum Bat LED Flashlight is the perfect combination. See stuff in the dark. Hit stuff in the dark.

*snoring. Hears a noise. Shouts, “Burglar!” as I jump out of bed grabbing my bat/flashlight. Jumps toward the corner of the room where I heard the noise. Turns on flashlight as I beat something savagely so it looks like a disco to anyone looking at my window. Out of breath. Whoever it was, they seem to have given up so I shine the flashlight down toward the carpet. I knew it! Proudly stands over the corpse of the dead spider in the spotlight.*

Thank you bat/flashlight. Now I can rest easy.

Sharp Act Knife Sharpener

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creepy kitchen knife sharpener
Oh Oh Oh It’s magic… A cutty, stabby, knifey kind of magic. The Sharp Act Knife Sharpener turns knife sharpening into a magic act. Hey, look at me, I’m sharpening my giant steak knife like I’m David Copperfield. OWWWWW! Just cut myself and that wasn’t part of the act. For my next trick, I’m going to the ER to get stitches and since I’m not insured, I’ll make all of my money disappear. It’s magic!

But at least I have a sharp knife.

Nicolas Cage Meme iPhone Cases

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nicolas cage i phone case
Your iPhone is a powerful device, even if they do keep “upgrading” it every year and giving you the bare minimum in new features for a sweet high price. See, that right there is why I use a flip phone. Well, your crazy expensive phone is about to get even more powerful. Unlock the power of Nicolas Cage and let him hug your phone with his dead unblinking eyes, like the Shakespearean acting sloth that he is. Your smartphone will never be the same.

Choose from Pepperoni Pizza face Cage, Mona Lisa Cage, Illuminati Cage, Our Lord Cage, Astronaut Cage and Renaissance Woman Cage. Get all the Nic Cages. You gotta catch ’em all!
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Burrito Camera Lens Wrap

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camera burrito
The Photorito Lens Wrap is a neoprene burrito that protects your camera lens and keeps it in great shape. Also great for when you are going all James Bond and spying on people, while pretending to enjoy a nice fat burrito and read the paper. Oh, hey! Looks like the Cubs won today-

*Crunch*

Holy hell! Why? Why do I keep forgetting that there’s a camera lens in that burrito? Holy hell! The pain! *Quickly picking up teeth from the floor while holding my jaw and crying.* See this is why the British (Or any) government won’t hire me as a spy. Which is a damn shame cuz I could use some free dental.

Imprison Your Cell Phone In This Cell Phone Cage

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

cell phone cage
In this connected world that we live in sometimes you have to force yourself to break away from Facebook, Snapchat and the like, and spend some time having actual face to face communication. And since we all have zero willpower, that means you have to lock up your phones in a maximum security prison.

That’s what this cell phone cage is all about. You can lock multiple phones in this jail for up to 60 minutes at a time. It even has little bunks they can sleep on. When the time expires, it will play silly audio like “Justice is served, power up!”, “You are now free to phone”, and “It’s time to rejoin digital society”. And if it’s opened an alarm will sound.

Oh so you are texting in the middle of my story about how I got a sweet deal at the store? You have to take that call now do you? Right when we are in the middle of a board game? Your phone is incarcerated pal! This time with no possibility of parole!

Your phone now has a 30 day sentence. I found a micro SD shiv on the top bunk and the Samsung in the bunk below has a scratch.