Tag: gift

Gothic Raven Purse – For The Birds

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Gothic Raven Purse - For The Birds

Wow. Now that’s a nice looking bag. That’s not just something they say in the bathhouse, it’s what they’ll say about this purse when you wear it. This Gothic Raven Purse is stunning. You might even say ravenous. I know I’m raven about it. You won’t catch me crowing about it though. That would be mixing my bird metaphors. Did you know that a group of ravens is known as an “unkindness”. Man, these birds have a bad reputation. But they look awesome on this Gothic Raven Purse accessory. Get your claws on one today!

I’ll have to write that fun fact down in my Raven Journal. It’s where I keep all of my raven related thoughts and dreams from prying eyes and nosy beaks. Did you know that they remember human faces? Come to think of it, that would explain why my car gets pooped on so damn often. Now that’s an unkindness. It’s downright rude. You point and laugh one time when a baby bird can’t get the worm and it makes you a lifelong poop target.

Articulated Misfits Devil Rat Doll

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Articulated Misfits Devil Rat Doll

Now you can have your very own Articulated Misfits Devil Rat Doll. Why the hell not? Like I don’t have enough problems without some Devil Rat doll coming to life and doing the freaky deeky all up in here. Sure its cool looking. Both cute and evil at the same time. But no good can come from this thing. I’ve had pets like this before, so I know what I’m talking about. Like that rat clock. It’s always terror time around here.

It is creepy cool. Plus he wont leave droppings everywhere like a real rat. You won’t have to say rats! and clean it up. Or drats. Or even bats. Or tell him yo scat! Get it? That’s some poop humor right there. Probably why I feel flushed. heh! I still got it.

Bat Crop Top – Holy Bat Boobies!

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Bat Crop Top - Holy Bat Boobies!
Now that’s what I call Creep Wear. This Bat Crop Top is the ultimate in boobie-covering technology. God, I wish I was that bat. You would be the wind beneath my wings. The wind is very nipply today, so let me hold you tighter, my love. Is it technically a bra? A halter top? Crop top? Bat brazier? I have no idea, but I know it is a bat made to protect your jubblies. And boy, does it look sexy. Whether you are headed for the convenience store, at the beach, or living during the apocalypse, this bat crop top will always look amazing. Bat boobs are always in fashion, after all. Let’s face it they are probably the two greatest things in existence.

Gotta be a B cup, too cuz it’s a Bat. I’m just guessing. A bat cup, if you will. Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable and put your bat on, my dear? I’ll get the bat wine opener, and we can have a quiet night in.

Nightmare Halloween Pumpkin Skulls

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Nightmare Halloween Pumpkin Skulls
Holy hell these are some terrifying Nightmare Halloween Pumpkin Skulls. I’ve seen my share of skeletons, skulls, bones, brains ghosts, ghouls, goblins and other assorted horrors, but I’ve never seen any skulls scarier than these. If you have these horrors on your porch this Halloween, the kids that come to your door are going to be scared senseless. You may hear a lot of screaming, followed by running on the big night. You no good little brats aren’t going to be smashing these pumpkins. These here pumpkins can defend themselves. These undead heads are hungry and ready to eat and I’m pretty sure they aren’t after any candy. In fact candy will be littering the streets this Halloween as children and adults disappear mysteriously. Which is great for me actually. I’m gonna bring a snow shovel and a pick up truck and clean it all up. Man these things are freaky looking. It is now truly a Halloween of horrors now that I have seen them. If I could find a mask like these Nightmare Halloween Pumpkin Skulls, I would so win Halloween and get whatever prize one gets for winning the best part of October. Also check out these cool pumpkin appendages.

Grim Reaper Shelf Sitter, Gothic Garden Decor Figurine

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Grim Reaper Shelf Sitter, Gothic Garden Decor Figurine
The seasons don’t fear the reaper, nor do the wind the sun and the rain. But I do. Do you? Imagine just living your life and minding your own business, when this guy shows up scythe in hand, to collect you and shuffle you off this mortal coil. But what can you do? He’s the reaper. Then again, maybe he’s all show. I bet he’s a wimp if someone just confronts him, and gives him a good kick in the nads. Anyway, this Grim Reaper Shelf Sitter is pretty awesome looking. He will sit on your shelf, in your garden, wherever you want. He just sits there looking cool as a cucumber, reminding you of one impending day, hopefully far in your future, when you get to meet the real deal. He makes a great piece of Gothic Garden Decor. I bet you are just dying to buy one. Set him in your garden and be like, “Hey how about being more of a trim reaper and helping me trim those hedges?” If you dig the Grim Reaper shelf sitter, you can also check out this Grim Reaper choker necklace.