Tag: gothic

Custom Skull Sneakers

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Custom Skull Sneakers
Check out these Custom Skull Sneakers. Kicks that are sick! They have 3D skulls on them. What is going on over at Nike?

Nike worker: I’ll just put a little LSD in the water.

Nike designer: Oh man, I have so many ideas. Talk me down man, Talk me down. Skulls. It’s all about the skulls. We can use a special gel so the shoes will burn and flame and be on fire all of the time. We’ll call them Ghost Riders. How about a design that drips paint down these sneakers all day long? Kind of like the world before me that makes me want to claw my eyes out. The monkey in my head won’t let me be! Maybe just put the skulls on for now.
Read more “Custom Skull Sneakers”

Fruit Bat Skeleton in Coffin

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Fruit Bat Skeleton in Coffin
This Fruit Bat Skeleton in Coffin is resting in peace. Not enough fruit I guess. Maybe the fruit was poisoned. Sad story. It was someone’s son or daughter fruit bat. The fruit of their loins. Probably wore fruit of the loom underwear. I’m gonna call him Fruity. Fruity the fruit bat. RIP fruity! RIP.

Human Skull in Rusted Metal Cage

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Human Skull in Rusted Metal Cage
This Human Skull in Rusted Metal Cage is the perfect rustic accessory to decorate your macabre mansion. Just hang it up anywhere. Reminds me of that time I got my head stuck in a metal stair railing. If the paramedics had left me, this is what I would have looked like. That’s what happens. You get stuck somewhere and you become a decoration. Like this poor guy. He probably just stuck his head in there cuz he saw a gummi bear or something. Now he’s Gothic Chic. Yeah, just snap his neck off and sell him on Etsy.

Gothic Skull Vessel And Skeleton Pen Desk Set

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Gothic Skull Vessel And Skeleton Pen Desk Set
This Gothic Skull Vessel And Skeleton Pen Desk Set will have you out of your skull. Just make sure you get back in it real quick so someone else doesn’t jump in there, cuz that’s some bad skullduggery as well as some bad juju with a double serving of the heebie-jeebies. Hey, let me back in!

It’s a skull vessel filled with skull pens. Wearing coats. Where do they even get coats that long and thin? The dead and tall men’s shop? Those are some fashionable corpses right there. I bet when things get crowded in there they start rolling around against the rim and punching each other. That’s why they all look so shocked.
Read more “Gothic Skull Vessel And Skeleton Pen Desk Set”

Gothic Raven Necklace

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Gothic Raven Necklace
I’m giving this Gothic Raven Necklace to someone, but not because I like them. It’s cuz I want to give them the bird and also cuz I lost my bird-giving fingers in an accident. The accident was letting that guy see me flipping him the bird. So he made sure my birds never took flight again by bending them back. My birds are in casts. Oh, they’ll fly again. And when they do it is going to be majestic.