This Skull Backpack is pretty sweet. I wouldn’t wear it to school though. You know why? You’ll get school-iosis. Get it? That’s a bone disease caused by too much school. What I like about this backpack is that you can tell it to zip it’s lip and it will. Zip it Skull! If you don’t zip it, I will! This thing looks badass. If the world ever goes Mad Max, I’m sporting a mohawk and wearing this thing and driving a crazy car while screaming gibberish. It’s a dream of mine.
Tag: gothic
Ouija Board Panties
So you and the wife are wearing your Ouija Board Panties and getting ready to “summon some spirits” when your kid bursts through the door. Mommy, daddy, what are you doing? Well, you see son. When a man loves a woman very much, he eases his planchette across her board, until you hit just the right spot. That would be when your mother yells YES YES YES. Now get out of here and if you hear stuff banging around, it’s just some paranormal activity. Lock the door on your way out. Now where were we? Still in the mood babe? No? What do you mean GOODBYE? God Dammit!
Raven Claw Wall Mounted Hook
This Raven Claw Wall Mounted Hook is gonna come in real handy. I’m gonna mount it low on the wall and use it to scratch my back. You can use it as a coat hook, a jewelry hanger, you can put a crystal ball in it’s talons and make it look all creepy. It’s awesome cuz it looks like a bird just punched through your wall and is trying to grab at you. Just be careful when installing it. You have to be very talon-tid. ha ha ha ha ha. Not really that funny, I know. You know what is funny? Hanging one of those fake scrotums you see on the back of pick-up trucks in it’s talons. I am such an awesome interior designer! No need to thank me.
Frankenstein Book Wallet
Is it a book or a wallet? It’s both. A Frankenstein Book Wallet. Book ’em Franky! Now you can keep all of your important stuff in this wallet that looks like a book. That way no one will steal your stuff, cuz people don’t read anymore. In fact, I don’t even know what this book is about. I just call books paper movies that I will never see. No, I’m not Ill-literate. That means a sick person who reads. How dare you excuse me of fancy book learning.
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Stone Skull Cross Pendants
These Stone Skull Cross Pendants from wayanbrothers are badass. What up Damon! What up Marlon! It’s a crucifix skeleton. A Skele-fix. A Crucible of cruci-bones. A cross of calcium. It’s stone cold awesome. Let’s make a petition so that priests have to wear these. I just need your signature right here. Boom! You been scammed bro! You just signed up for a pyramid scheme and I’m at the top, watching all you slaves build the pyramid. Faster! Faster slaves! Oh dang! There’s a guy above me and he just got all the profits. No wonder the Egyptians gave up on pyramids.
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