Tag: gothic

Toys For Little Creepers – Plush Skeleton Dolls

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Toys For Little Creepers - Plush Skeleton Dolls
I can’t decide if these Plush Skeleton Dolls are cute or creepy, but that one guy in the back with no face… Nightmare fuel! Look at them. Just one big happy family with momma skeleton holding them all on a rocker. They’re tight too. Nobody makes fun of no-face or calls him names like Void or Spaceface, but you can tell that even they are creeped out by him. Did you know that plush skeletons grow up to become all rigid and bony, losing all of their plushy flesh by 12 years old? True story.

Do you think that pumpkin stole that kids face? Damn. Now I’m more weirded out by the pumpkin. Probably took his soul too. Yeah, that pumpkin is the real power behind the throne. There’s some messed up stuff going on here.

Embroidered Spider Notebook

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Embroidered Spider Notebook
Use this Embroidered Spider Notebook to write down whatever you want, but I’m gonna use it to write my one man rap play called “One-man Spider Killing Army”. Here’s the theme song:

I’m a one-man spider killing army
Cuz eight legged freaks be tryin’ to harm me.

Black Widow, Brown recluse, I don’t give a f**k.
I spray Raid and Black Flag all over my truck.

Feelin’ kinda woozy when I hit that stop light.
My head hits the dashboard and I say goodnight.

Bugs don’t stand a chance cuz I creep up on ’em like a villain.
Then I raise my boot and I stone cold kill ’em.

They creep up to my club like some VIP
Then they get a hit of some DDT!

It’s gonna be awesome. The rest is a secret. Totally gonna kickstart it.

Super Terrifying Cat Candle Holder

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Terrifying Cat Candle Holder
This cat candle holder is scary as hell, with the glowing eyes, crazy attitude and Mr. T gold chain. Oh and the bat wings. It’s nom nom time and fluffy isn’t f**king around! The only string this cat wants to play with is your intestines. Probably looks crazy as hell with a candle in him. It will probably scare any mice you have away for good.

Tombstone and Open Grave Ring

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Tombstone and Open Grave Ring
I love this Tombstone and Open Grave Ring from VonErickson, who also made these cool zombie graduation rings. The problem is, ever since I started wearing it, that open grave keeps filling up with corpses. I fall asleep and wake up to find a dead cockroach inside. I swat a fly on my arm and it lands right in the open grave. That’s all cool, but the tombstone gets new writing every time. When I killed that fly it read “Buzzkill”. When the cockroach was in there, it had the bug’s name along with a birth and death date and “Father of two million”. Crazy.

Tentacle Hair Clips

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Tentacle Hair Clips
Is that a tentacle bursting out of your skull or are you just happy to see me? Both? Fair enough. Mind if I ask what shampoo you use? Is it Head, Shoulders and Tentacles? That would explain it. No, I don’t see any dandruff. I’m assuming your tentacles would have brushed any flakes away by now. I’m guessing you don’t wear hats. Ohhhh. Tentacle Hair Clips. I get it. Great accessory. I-

What the- Have I been hitting on a goddamn mannequin all this time? Why didn’t you guys say anything? Now, I feel stupid. I just thought she never blinked and was really fascinated by the conversation. What really sucks is this is the second time this happened to me. So I’m calling this incident Mannequin 2: Electric Boogaloo.