Tag: h.p. lovecraft

H.P. Lovecraft Bust

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H.P. Lovecraft Bust
This H.P. Lovecraft Bust is pretty busty. I mean, not as busty as that lady I accidentally bumped into at the supermarket, who saved my life with her giant bazoomba airbags but still. This bust will look good in your home. Maybe you can use it on that altar where you try and summon Cthulhu every night. Yeah, I know what you get up to when I’m not around. That’s dangerous bidness peeps.

Funny story. I once tried to do the same thing. I was all like, “May the many tentacle-headed beast rise again and cleanse the world in blood and fire!” It took me a week to get rid of Predator AND Evil Bob Marley. Apparently the other side heard tentacle-headed and thought that meant dreadlocks. I need to be more specific.

Call of Cthulhu H.P. Lovecraft Wallet

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Call of Cthulhu H.P. Lovecraft Wallet
This Call of Cthulhu H.P. Lovecraft Wallet is so cool that it not only calls Cthulhu, it calls Cthulhu and sets up and date, then bangs Cthulhu and leaves in the morning, tucking some cab fair under his tentacles. So yeah, it’s a pretty cool wallet that isn’t messing around. The front features an awesome illustration, while the back side features a famous quote from the story: That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons even death may die. This wallet makes an awesome gift.

I’ll expect it gift wrapped though. And throw me a surprise party and invite all of my friends. Aw, you shouldn’t have. *whispers* Yes you should have. Where’s the ice cream and party hats?

Tentacle Headband

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Tentacle Headband
Tentacle Headband sounds like some kind of octopus themed heavy metal head banging group, but it’s not. It’s a cool new piece of head gear that brings you one suckered tentacle closer to Cthulhu. It’s made from wiggly rubber that gives it an authentic and likely gross feel. Which is what you want from a tentacle.

So it will feel like Cthulhu actually has his tentacle on your head. Not in a pervy way. Get your head out of the gutter. Like he’s saying, “You look FABULOUS. So proud of you. Gonna make you look awesome today. Why do you think I’ve waited for like millions of years ya silly goose. The ancient evil of style has awakened more fab than ever.” *Tentacles mimic hand snaps all around* “Let’s do that foundation girl. How’s the love life. uh-huh. Uh-huh!”

Legends of Cthulhu Necronomicon Collector Set

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Legends of Cthulhu Necronomicon Collector Set
This Legends of Cthulhu Necronomicon Collector Set is truly legendary. Not legend-dairy, cuz that just means some kind of cow superhero. I think. Anyway, if you like Cthulhu, you’ll love this set. *Blogging like a DJ today in my shiny jacket and headphones, going all Wricka-Wricka and Erra Erra, puttin’ a match to my scratch and blown’ shizz up* Put your tentacles in the air like ya just don’t care and give it up for my main man Cthulhu and check check check this Necronomicon Box!

Like eldritch horrors? Well, inside of this box you’ll find a Welcome Letter from the Professor and the ‘Society of Cthulhu Investigators,’ a coloring book, an official ‘SCI’ Cthulhu ring, die-cut stickers, Cthulhu patch, and folded poster. Awesome.
Read more “Legends of Cthulhu Necronomicon Collector Set”

Cthulhu Backpack

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cthulu backpack
Don’t hurt your back carrying around heavy books. Let Cthulhu do the heavy lifting with his many suckered tentacles. This Cthulhu Backpack has your back and would like your soul and sanity as well. Use it to carry your school books or your HP Lovecraft books. Or both.

What? You use a kindle? Well la-de-da. Not all of us can afford a fancy- Oh wait. Just checked the price. I can afford that. I just have a third grade reading level, so I choose not to have one. So there. Are you happy? Me too. That fancy book reading takes valuable time away from internet picture reading.