This Nightmare On Elm Street Never Sleep Again Necklace looks just like Freddy Krueger’s sweater and even has a little gravestone underneath. I don’t see what the big deal is. I had a nightmare on elm street once and yeah it was terrifying, but guess what? I moved. I didn’t make like 10 sequels about it. You make your own destiny. Like me. For a while I was starring in “Drunk on Church Street”. Then I moved on to “Recovering on Maple.” I move around a lot. Now I’m all about, “F*ck it. Face down on Main”. We are all our own master. Reach for the stars. And when ya can’t, reach for the bottle.
Tag: halloween
The Phantom of the Opera Playing Cards
Make your next card game a scary one with The Phantom of the Opera Playing Cards. You don’t have to host your card game backstage at an opera, but it helps. These are a limited edition so get them while you can. Only 666 decks were produced. Somehow I don’t think they arrived at that number randomly. Each deck has a unique serial number and certificate. The edges of cards are gold foiled. Nice. They are all classy and stuff.
The fearsome phantom drinks fanta from a fountain and it fizzles. Just wanted to say that. No reason. I’m such a card. Problem is the rest of the deck is missing.
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Zombie Magnetic Poetry Kit
Make some zombie poetry with the Zombie Magnetic Poetry Kit. Put your creations on the fridge or other metal surface. I don’t know about you, but I find zombie poetry to be beautiful and romantic. If I create zombie poetry and display it on my fridge, does that count as being published? I’m gonna say yeah. But I get too distracted by the fridge and leave my poetry half finished, but never my burrito. That always gets finished. I’m just no good under pressure and by that I mean I get all gassy and crampy and doubled over, until the pressure is relieved. Then it’s back to snacking while I stare at the words in a kitchen that smells like a trash heap.
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Coffin Nail Antique Iron Necklace
Well that’s the final nail in the coffin! This Coffin Nail Antique Iron Necklace is pretty cool ciz if you ever come across a coffin that has been dug up and left there, you can be all like, nope! I don’t think you. Then hammer your nail in so no dead bodies can get away. Runaway dead bodies are the worst. I think they really nailed it with this necklace. I really do.
And please, just buy this one. Don’t steal one from a coffin. Remember, keep dead bodies in their place.
Spiders Pantyhose For Sexy Black Widows
This is a real leg slapper. Maybe even a knee slapper. Cuz if I see you wearing these Spiders Pantyhose, I’m gonna slap your knee and try to kill those spiders. But the first thing I’m gonna ask is, are those new pantyhose or have they just been laying around for a while in an abandoned house? Then decide from there how to proceed. Pretty sexy though, I have to admit. And I ain’t afraid to say that that’s a nice pair of legs. Looking smooth girl.