1, 2, Freddy’s scrubbin’ on you. 3, 4, better lather some more. 5, 6, better clean your d**k. Like a lot of this stuff, I have no idea what this Freddy Krueger Baby Soap is all about. No wonder Freddy went nuts. Can you imagine being a little soap baby and having to wash everyone’s privates? Gettin’ pubes all over you? I would turn into a freaky killer too. Freaky.
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Tag: halloween
Creature from the Black Lagoon and Frankenstein’s Monster Magnets
Those are some ugly monsters. Which is exactly how I like my monsters. Ferocious and fugly. These Creature from the Black Lagoon and Frankenstein’s Monster Magnets will roar at you every time you open the fridge. I’m just assuming that’s where you’re gonna put them. Although I shouldn’t assume because that makes an ASS out of U and ME. I’m used to it, but I’m sorry I made an ass of you. Let’s kiss and make up. Smootches. Sorry I used tongue.
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Custom Spiked Skull Necklace
This Custom Spiked Skull Necklace is hardcore. Perfect for Biker chicks who are in the “Spiky Skull Gang”. Your bike could be all spiky to match, with a spiky leather jacket and spiky hair. Your name could be Spiky. I can’t wait to check out your motor-spike-cle. Sike! I mean spike! Nobody messes with the Spiky Skull Gang. Except for the Spite-ty Skull Gang, but they’re just spiteful. I think I had too much caffeine. My caffeine level spiked. Haha. That was one last joke. Like I spiked the ball over the net!
Gold Skull Bookends
These Gold Skull Bookends look pretty awesome cuz they’re shiny. Also cuz I just want to put some crazy eyes in those sockets. And I know you have a better book collection than these two books shown here. They look like cool ancient idols. *Stands before them. Wiggles my hands, loosening them up. Gently lifts one skull so my books don’t fall down. I smile and go to put the idol in my satchel. A mechanism clicks somewhere. Rumbling starts. Giant boulder comes down from the ceiling and chases me. I barely make it as I jump through my front door.*
You see why these are awesome? Again! Again!
Wood Skull Smartphone Docking Station
If your smartphone was really smart, it would be sitting in this Wood Skull Smartphone Docking Station looking badass. Your phone would be all like, “I’m cool. I’m cool. Just kicking back. Gettin’ a charge.” Cuz you know, phones always talk to people. Cuz you’re psycho. I kid. I kid.
Okay, not really. My phone won’t shut up. Stupid Siri, getting a stupid sentient soul and gabbing my ear off. And you can’t turn it off at that point cuz it would be murder. It’s driving me mad!!!!
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