This whole DIY paint your own Fetal Skull craze has gotta stop. I’ve seen mothers painting their baby’s heads like American Flags, bowling balls, monster faces, you name it. Then they share the pics on the Insta-grind or whatever. I saw a mom with twins and each kid’s head was painted to look like a boob. She was all pushing ’em together making goo-goo eyes at passers-by. Well, if you can’t stop moms from using their baby’s heads as canvases, maybe they can at least paint on something else. Like this Fetal Skull Replica That You Can Paint. You know, so you can leave your kid alone. It’s gotta stop.
Read more “Fetal Skull Replica That You Can Paint”
Tag: halloween
Raven Head Jewelry
This piece of Raven Head Jewelry is pretty cool. Put this on and you’ll get noticed. It’s called a Kopfschmücke and yeah, I know it sounds dirty as a dollar matinee in the red light district, but apparently that just means “headpiece”. I looked it up. You can never go wrong with a bird skull accented with flowers. Unless you’re a florist I guess.
Why isn’t florist spelled floorist? Cuz that’s how it sounds. I used to think a florist was a janitor, mopping floors all day. Stupid language. Kopfschmucke on it!
Book of Spells Altered Composition Notebook
This Book of Spells Altered Composition Notebook is not to be confused with The Book of Smells, which sounds like a cool scratch and sniff book, but really it’s just an old notebook I sat on one night when feeling gassy. And that’s how that book got it’s name. We keep it under a glass dome and try not to upset it.
No, I’m pretty sure this one helps you spell stuff, so your English teacher would approve. What? Really? It’s about magic spells? Sweet! Abra Cadabra, I just saw a Chupacabra! *Looks out my window* It worked! It worked!
Horror Movie Monster Shoes
Love these Horror Movie Monster Shoes. I just walked a mile and boy are my monsters tired. These shoes are killing me! That’s because they are full of movie serial killers and monsters, so that’s not totally unexpected. What was unexpected? That Chucky is on them and they aren’t Chucks. These shoes also have no soles. Because Freddy stole them all.
Hahaha. I’ll be here all week people! I’ll be lonely, but I’ll be here.
Read more “Horror Movie Monster Shoes”
Medusa Snake Wig
Oh thank God! I thought that was my ex wife at first. Definitely not her though, because the snakes this Medusa Snake Wig are not moving and she isn’t b*tching at me to take out the trash. Jesus, I can only move so fast. I’m doing it already. Call your Vipers off.
And stop letting them bite my ears so they can pull me in for a kiss.
That’s okay, when I divorced her, I took half her snakes,which left her with just a snake mohawk.