Cup o’ Fingers anyone? Anybody? No? Too gross? It’s all good, it’s just some creepy crochet that a creeper crafted up. I’m not much into finger food myself. I mean, I’ll eat it with my fingers, sure. Then wipe the grease all over my shirt. What? “Shirts ain’t nothin’ but giant napkins you wear!” Sage advice if I ever heard it. That little gem came from my 400 pound uncle. Probably not the best role model. He was so fat, he had trouble moving, basically had to sit still Buddha style and have food brought to him. Sometimes I would rub his tummy for luck as I passed by. That man wore the same napkin for 20 years… Until napkins stopped fitting him.
Tag: halloween
Classic Movie Monsters 8 Bit Pixel Art
This Classic Movie Monsters 8 Bit Pixel Art is scary. Video game style monsters just freak me out. I’m gonna decorate my house with these guys and pretend I’m in a video game with them. I’ll be all Sonic, running super fast and they’ll be doing their slow monster shuffle. Then my mom will probably turn the game off and tell me to get to school just like she did when I was a kid.
These days she turns my internet off and tells me to get a job. Then she uses phrases like “40 years old” and “Do you enjoy living in your mother’s basement?” She needs to get her priorities straight and focus on work, so I have a place to live. Damn.
Lovecraftian Horror Portal
Getting hungry. I’ll just make myself a nice little healthy salad with some- WHAT IN THE TENTACLED HELL? WHAT FOUL DEMON POURS INTO THIS REALITY FROM YONDER PORTAL? Oh, it’s just another Lovecraftian horror. Phew. Ever since I got this Lovecraftian Horror Portal, horrors have been busting in like Kramer on Seinfeld. *Quickly makes a sandwich. Tentacles scoop it up and retreat back where they came from.*
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Necronomicon Cuff Bracelet
This Necronomicon Cuff Bracelet aka Necronomicuff is pretty sweet. It’s based on the works of H.P. LovesCuffs who also wrote The Cuffs of Cthulhu. It’s pretty cool. Definitely the in fashion statement of the year. It’s perfect to wear to this years Necronomi-con too. I just made that up, so if it ever exists, someone’s gonna owe me money. You read it here first.
I would buy two of these cuffs and wear one on each wrist, so I can deflect bullets with them like Wonder Woman. Pew pew pew! I’m magic! Ow! My wrists! *Falls to knees crying.*
Handmade Button Skull With Denture Teeth
Button your lip.
No, you button your lip!
You button your whole skull.
Fine I will. Then I’ll sell it on etsy.
And sew the Handmade Button Skull With Denture Teeth was born. See what I did there. I am am sew talented. This buttoned down skull has some real chompers. He’s all buttons and bite. And bone. You might say he’s a glutton for buttons.
Fun fact: At first I typed gluten, which which only rhymes with Putin. But I went with glutton so I could keep this blog gluten free. You know, for the vegans. But then I went and explained myself to you and now I have gluten in the blog. Great! Now we aren’t gluten free. I hope you’re happy. Vegans will be pissed at me now.