This Ceramic Skull Plate is perfect for piling your plate high at some greasy all-you-can-eat joint, so that when you get to the bottom of the plate, this guy is looking back at you and covering his face all like, “Man, I can’t believe I ate all of that!”
You and me both buddy.
These Gothic Gargoyle Cufflinks are gonna look great at that big shindig you are planning on attending soon. Whatever a shindig is. Sounds painful in the legs. You know what else is painful? Wearing a stone Gargoyle on each cuff. That’s what the mob calls it when they attach concrete to your hands and drop you in the river. Cement shoes. Concrete Converse. Sometimes Gargoyle cufflinks.
“You know too much. Vinny, fit this guy for some Gargoyle Cufflinks and give him a little boat ride.”
“No! I swear I never stole your mama’s Marinara recipe! Don’t kill me. Don’t kill me. Just curious, why Gargoyle cufflinks? Why not just a bag of cement on each hand? I swear I’ll never cross the Transylvanian mob again. Please! You guys are friggin weirdos!”
Your current makeup look? It’s dead. Time to eulogize it and bury it in this Coffin Makeup Brush Holder. Then apply some more and let it rise like a Phoenix and cover your face anew. Your old look was Tammy Faye Baker? Your new look can be Tammy Faye Undertaker. Your makeup is only as good as your makeup holder ladies. Behind every pretty face is a coffin.
Oh damn, that sounded like something a serial killer would say. Forget I said it. The point is, this is a cool makeup case. Cool, cuz coffins are buried deep. Yeah, that sounded weird again. Okay, stop looking at me like I’m a freak now. I didn’t mean it like that. You try talking about a coffin makeup holder and see how you sound.
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Attach this Worrywart Gargoyle Waterspout to your gutter pipe and this guy is gonna look like me on a Saturday night, except he is gonna be spewing water, whereas I am spewing spew. Cuz I party so hard. I party like a Gargoyle son! That means I sit around all day in one place and occasionally puke my guts out. All you can eat at the buffet (Their rules) mixed with all the liquor I can drink (My rules) makes for an interesting evening. Then it’s back to my sedentary lifestyle. So I can identify with this guy.
*Heaving over the toilet* Somebody hold my wings man.
This Skull and Books Planter will make your garden look all classy and Gothic. Is that an Aloe mohawk. Skulls look awesome with plant punk hair. If this guy had a guitar, he would totally rock your garden. The Garden Gnomes would open for him. He wouldbe playing guitar, flinging that plant hair all around. Kicking dirt everywhere…. And then that hallucinogen would wear off, cuz you trippin’ fool! Whoever heard of a skull hard rockin’ a garden? What’s wrong with you?