Evil Clown Pillow

Evil Clown Pillow
Do you want a good night’s sleep or a good nightmare sleep? Guess which one you’re gonna get if you rest your head on this Evil Clown Pillow? If you guessed terrifying dreams that jar you awake every few minutes, complete with sleep paralysis and a lifetime of PTSD, you guessed correctly. It’s pretty terrifying.

I think I’ll pass on this one. I already have an evil clown pillow. It was that one night stand from last week that slept over and left all her makeup on my pillow in the morning. She looked great in the morning sun. The face she left behind on the pillow? Not so much. I had to wait for her to drift off again so I could stealthily look in her purse and check her driver’s license. I just wanted to make sure her name wasn’t Bozo, Bimbo, Bingo or Zippy.

*Shudders*

Etsy seller creatureog has all kinds of cool pillows, not just clowns. Check them out.

Custom Zombie Cat Figurines

Custom Zombie Cat Figurines
Wanna turn your fluffy Miss Mittens into a crazy deadly zombie? Well, now you can. These Custom Zombie Cat Figurines will take your fluffy little fuzz-nugget and turn them into rotting undead pus-nuggets. They will make your cat look like he or she just crawled out of the grave and are ready to eat you. Yeah, they don’t look friendly at all. Like they just came back from Stephen King’s pet sematary. Yeah, count me out of that petting session.

Sure, you’re happy to see Mr. Nibbles-worth again. How’ve ya been? I’m so happy you’re back. I missed my sweet wittle puss-puss. So you grab for a can of tuna, but he grabs for your throat. You’re dying on the floor, he’s nipping at your intestines. It’s bad. Bad scene man. That’s why when I bury a pet, I fill that hole up with concrete. If I ever see a block of concrete with a tail slowly lumbering my way, I have time to get the shotgun.
Custom Zombie Cat Figurines

Fortune Teller Gypsy Taxidermy Mouse Diorama

Fortune Teller Gypsy Taxidermy Mouse Diorama
Check out this Fortune Teller Gypsy Taxidermy Mouse Diorama. All of the mice go to her for advice, paying in little cheese cubes. Okay, I admit it, I’m a mouse fortune teller. Easiest gig in the world. They pay me in cheese cubes too cuz I love the stuff. I put on Mickey Mouse ears and they think I’m their oracle. I just say stuff like, “You will be eaten by a large feline” or I say, ” I see a small hard board with a spring attached. You will die a crushing death beneath it’s might.” That kind of stuff. Pretty good work. Pretty satisfying.
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Vampire Bats Scientific Illustration Poster

Vampire Bats Scientific Illustration Poster
Hang this Vampire Bats Scientific Illustration Poster on your wall and you will feel like a fancy bat scientist. You know what you call a Bat scientist? A Batman! Your assistant’s name could be Robin. Study this poster day and night and you will become smarter in the ways of the bat. The next step is building a bat cave. I think you know the rest. Using your billionaire resources to genetically alter your appearance until you are a bat. THEN you will be ready to fight crime.

Or you know, just enjoy this in your home.
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Bigfoot Sasquatch Metal Bookends

Bigfoot Sasquatch Metal Bookends
This pair of Bigfoot Sasquatch Metal Bookends is the perfect place for all of my UFO and unexplained stuff books. I’m always researching. Gotta beat him at his own big feet game. One day I’ll spot him and take a picture that will make me rich. Look at that couple holding hands and pointing up at that book. They have no idea that he is on the other side. What a bunch of rubes.