Tag: home decor

Custom Coffin Doll Carriage / Wet Bar

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Custom Coffin Doll Carriage Wet Bar
This Custom Coffin Doll Carriage / Wet Bar can be used for either thing. It can also be used for a real baby. I’m just guessing here, cuz no woman has bothered to have one with me. I see no reason why you can’t take your little monster out for a stroll in this thing and also have some room for your drinks on board. Imagine the concerned looks from other parents and the concerned calls to child services.

How many times do I have to tell you people that the kid is just sleeping? Great, now you woke him up? Do YOU wanna change his diaper. Maybe then you’ll believe me that he is alive. That ain’t embalming fluid! That’s grade A human baby s**t. Leave my baby and I alone and stop persecuting me for mylove of coffin shaped accessories!

Skull Doorknob

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Skull Doorknob
Wait! Don’t open that door. We don’t go in there. We just don’t. We don’t even talk about going in there, so shut your face. No one enters the room of the crystal skull. Why do you think we have that cool ass Skull Doorknob to warn people? It lights up too, but don’t touch it. Okay, whatever, your funeral!

*Door opens*

*All of my creepy collectibles fall out in a huge pile.* I told you not to. You just had to do it. Now you have to clean it all up. I usually push it in with a broom while someone else pushes the door.
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Tombstone Herb Garden Markers

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Tombstone Herb Garden Markers
Make your herb garden look like a cemetery with these Tombstone Herb Garden Markers. I made a little poem about them: Here lies Rosemary, here lies Thyme, buried them both and got away with my crime. Yeah, that’s not very good. Besides, I would never hurt herbs. I’ve never committed herbicide in my life. These markers will give all of your garden critters the heebie-jeebies. Maybe the herbie-jeebies too.
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Coffin Shelf With Hand Carved Spider Web Sides

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Coffin Shelf With Hand Carved Spider Web Sides
What happens if you put an “elf on the shelf” on a Coffin Shelf? You get a dead elf on a shelf. But that’s beside the point. This Coffin Shelf With Hand Carved Spider Web Sides is great for your haunted horror home decor. I’m putting things on it that I want to take with me when I die. If it’s on the shelf, everybody knows I get buried with it. Right now I have a few bags of M & M s and some Kit-Kats on the top shelf. Basically, I’m buying two so they can just throw me in, slap them both together and I’ll have all my stuff. You gotta think ahead.

Bat Skull Cabinet Hardware

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Bat Skull Cabinet Hardware
Quick Robin! To the Bat-Cabinet! Holy smokes Batman! Which one is the Bat Cabinet again? They are the ones with the Bat Skull Cabinet Hardware you idiot. And by the way, can we update that outfit? Kinda makes me look bad you know. I am a much older man and those tights… Not good.

This Bat Skull Cabinet hardware is awesome. Does this mean that your cabinet is a belfry now? It’s got bats. Anything that has bats is a belfry. I kind of like the idea of grabbing a bat skull every time I go into a cabinet for some cereal or peanut butter. Don’t worry little bats, I won’t crush your head with my grip. Or poke you in the eye-sockets. I will be gentle,but firm.
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