Tag: home decor

The Devil Tarot Card Duvet Cover

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

The Devil Tarot Card Duvet Cover
They say that the devil is in the details. I say he’s in your bed and this Devil Tarot Card Duvet Cover is proof. I’ve never done a tarot reading in bed before, but I have done a tarot reader in bed. *Rolls eyebrows up and down.* Not much reading got done that night, but I spent a fortune. *Rim shot* I’ll be here all week.

Seriously though, I’ve heard a lot of weird stuff about the devil: That he went down to Georgia, that he wears a blue dress, that he has his own eggs, but I’ve never heard of a devil on a duvet. Good luck getting sleep under that thing.

Light-Up Zombie Head Pathway Markers

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Light-Up Zombie Head Pathway Markers
*Singing to “You light up my life”.* Youuuuu light up my pathhhhh. I kick your headssss. Cuz you’re undeadddddd. These Light-Up Zombie Head Pathway Markers make an awesome statement along any path in your yard. That statement is: No zombie bastid better mess with me, cuz I’ll put lights in your eye sockets and decorate my driveway with your skull. Your friends too.

Perfect for Halloween. Also perfect for the zombie apocalypse, since those undead freaks will know to stay away.

Custom Alien Head Magnets

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Custom Alien Head Magnets
Alien heads! These Custom Alien Head Magnets finally allow me to collect alien heads in a way that DOES NOT involve chopping their filthy heads off whenever they try to abduct me and take me aboard their spaceships for tests.

Later that night at 3 A.M.

*Stands over a decapitated alien body, breathing heavy, with a machete in my hand.* “I told you, I don’t need a checkup! Now contemplate your dead-side manner you gray bastard!”

Custom Alien Head Magnets

Custom Alien Head Magnets

Flock Of Ravens For Your Wall

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Flock Of Ravens For Your Wall
And I ran. I ran so far away. I just- Oh wait. That’s a Flock of Seagulls. This is a Flock Of Ravens For Your Wall. What’s the name for a flock of Ravens? An unkindness, a murder, a gaggle, a giggle, a gander, a curiosity, a regiment? I have no idea. I just know that these ravens are gonna make your wall look like an army of birds are materializing through your wall.

That’s crazy. Feather-pluckin weird if ya ask me. I don’t know what everyone’s raven about?

Cthulhu Lava Hourglass

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Cthulhu Lava Hourglass
I tell time the H.P. Lovecraft way, with this Cthulhu Lava Hourglass. What time is it? It’s half past Cthulu’s ass and a quarter to his balls. It doesn’t matter what time you ask me, that’s always the time. This hourglass is lava-ly. I mean lovely.

The lava slowly counts down to a dark awakening that spells our doom.