Tag: horror

Holy Freddy On A Cross – Horror Movie Wall Sculptures

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Holy Freddy On A Cross - Horror Movie Wall Sculptures
These Horror Movie Wall Sculptures from HaskellFX make for some scary home decor. Speaking of, you know what else makes for some really scary horror decor? All of those stains on my walls from where I swatted flies and never cleaned up. It’s getting so thick it looks like an impressionist painting is starting to take shape.

Anyway, you can choose from Freddy Krueger on an upside down cross patterned like his sweater, Jason Voorhees and that Leatherface guy on a Texas shaped background. Tell ’em Creepbay sent ya. It’ll be no haskell at all. You know, cuz the shop name… Haskell. *sigh* Ohhhhhhh. So you don’t like my sense of humor huh? Well, quit haskelling me! Okay, new policy everybody. Don’t hask, don’t tell. Hask-a-la-vista baby!

Who doesn’t love a Freddy crucifix? Oh yeah. God. Probably God doesn’t like that.
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Moonlit Cliff Werewolf Pendant

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Moonlit Cliff Werewolf Pendant
Do you think that Werewolves all wear stuff like this cool Moonlit Cliff Werewolf Pendant, so they can spot each other and know that they are all Werewolves? I only ask cuz some nights I get crazy and tear through a whole rotisserie chicken with my bare hands and they have to lock me in a cage for the night. Also I’m hairy. People say I’m just hungry and fat, I say I’m a werewolf. Then I slash them with my claws and run off on all fours howling. Then I wake up naked the next day, but that’s only because I’m a free spirit.

It’s an endless battle with the moon. Speaking of the moon, I find that the moon acts childish. Oh well, probably just a phase. Once a month the moon gets so full of itself. It’s so vain. Anyway, here’s a song for the moon:

You’re so vain
You probably think this post is about you.
Don’t you?
Don’t you?

Horror Movies Rainy Day Activity and Coloring Book

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Horror Movies Rainy Day Activity and Coloring Book
What are you gonna do on a rainy day? Just sit around depressed? Well, yeah, duh! But you can also do something else. Like color in this Horror Movies Rainy Day Activity and Coloring Book. I like to drink all night and then try to stay in the lines. Then in the morning I grade my work. Not happy about what I see either. Recently had to call my mom and have a parent teacher conference, too. “He doesn’t apply himself and is way behind the other kids. Is there anything going on at home that we should know about?”

Classic Horror Monster Nesting Dolls

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Classic Horror Monster Nesting Dolls
It’s a little known fact that monsters, like birds, love to nest. Except that monsters are so freaky they like to nest in each other. Like these Classic Horror Monster Nesting Dolls. Who knows why monsters do what they do. It’s weird. It’s basically monster sex, which seems wrong. But what do I know? Anyhow, this cool set is going to look great on your desk or shelf.

It includes Frankenstein, Dracula, Phantom of the Opera, The Creature, Mummy, and Wolfman. What’s up with the Phantom? I can think of lots of better places to be a phantom of than the opera. I would be phantom of the Burger King, phantom of the Playstation maybe… Still, it beats being phantom of the Oprah.
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Knit Human Centipede

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Knit Human Centipede
Oh man… Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, Knit Human Centipede. It is knit. It is human.(Vaguely. Looks like a bunch of knit fetuses pulling into a train station.) It is a centipede. That guy up front does not look happy about having to be the engine. Still better than being the caboose. I’d rather be draggin’ than gaggin’ if ya know what I’m saying.