Tag: horror

Micro Fears Miniature Horror Figures

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Micro Fears Miniature Horror Figures
These Micro Fears Miniature Horror Figures are cool mini horror figures, cuz you can’t handle the full-sized horror.The seller has several cool figures to choose from, including Bigfoot, The Mummy, even some mini dioramas. Pretty sweet. I hope they make more. You don’t have such big feet now, do you? You big hairy, walking carpet. Why don’t you vacuum yourself you big carpet? Just messin’ with you.

Put these cool figures on your desk and play with them like action figures. I can’t wait to pit Bigfoot against The Mummy. My money is on the Mummy, because you don’t f**k with a guy brave enough to wrap himself in dirty toilet paper. What? That’s not his origin story? I thought he wrapped himself in used TP and died from diarrhea germs. That’s not how he got his costume and superpowers? Hmmm. He doesn’t seem so interesting now.
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Walking Dead Lantern

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Walking Dead Lantern
This Walking Dead Lantern will cast all kinds of cool and creepy shadows on your wall. Pretty cool. If I used a lantern. Which I don’t. What am I, Paul Revere up in here?

I mean, I guess I could go back to using a lantern instead of, you know, electricity. Alright, you talked me into it. I’m also gonna need an old timey hat and a powdered wig. And a bell that I can ring in case zombies attack me. I’ll just wake the whole neighborhood while I’m getting my throat torn out by a hungry zombie. Yeah, that’ll work out great. For people who sell bells and lanterns!
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Hellraiser Lament Configuration Fuzzy Dice Plush

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Hellraiser Lament Configuration Fuzzy Dice Plush
Check this out. These Hellraiser Lament Configuration Fuzzy Dice Plush are going to look awesome in that Hellraiser themed car I’m building. It’s a pretty simple build. I’m just putting huge pins all over it so it looks like a huge porcupine.

Update: I just finished, but I impaled myself while opening the door.

2nd Update: Had to take it to the mechanic. Then had to hide the evidence when I found all 3 mechanics impaled on the thing. One on the roof, one on the bumper and one on the trunk wearing a ball gag. Whatever that’s about. This may have been a bad idea. Time to report it stolen, wipe my prints and act not weird.

Creature From The Black Lagoon Gelatin Mold

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Creature From The Black Lagoon Gelatin Mold
There’s always room for Jello. Especially when it’s shaped like the Creature from the Black Lagoon’s head. Depending on what flavor you make, you can eat the Creature from the Lime Lagoon, the cherry lagoon, or the strawberry lagoon. That’s a lot of lagoon options for dessert. Fill up your mold, put it in the fridge and then take it out and giggle as you jiggle it over and over again. I plan on buying two of these so I can put them side by side and watch them jiggle, cuz I’m immature like that. You know, cause then it would be the creature from the boob lagoon.

Grim Reaper On Throne With Undead Skeleton Pet Statue

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Grim Reaper On Throne With Undead Skeleton Pet Statue
So this Grim Reaper On Throne With Undead Skeleton Pet Statue shows what Death is up to on his day off. He’s just chillin’ on his bone throne, with his skeleton pet by his side. Wait just a damn minute…

Is this what happens? He comes in the dead of night to take us away so he can have a new pet? Dude, that’s f***ed up! How many pets do you go through in a year anyway? WTF! They obviously don’t have a good track record. No wonder you have to keep collecting souls.

Great, so we all have that to look forward to! Being the Grim Reaper’s b**ch!