Tag: horror

Creepy Garden Skull

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Creepy Garden Skull

I don’t know about you, but sometimes people dig in their garden and they find some bones. It’s scary as hell. I just want to tend to my roses, not be a part of some investigation. Anyway, this Creepy Garden Skull is perfect if you actually want to creep up the garden. Just drop it among your flowers and your garden bed instantly becomes a lot cooler. I beg your pardon, I never promised you a skull garden…

It looks pretty authentic too. You know what they call that shocked feeling when you find a skull in your yard. Skully-osis. I’m pretty sure. I know about stuff like that. Just set this Creepy Garden Skull in your garden and then sit back and watch the neighbors talk. It’s fun. Speaking of cool garden and home accessories that are on the dark side, these Stained Glass Ravens are pretty sweet too.

Bat & Coffin Toilet Paper Holders

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Bat & Coffin Toilet Paper Holders

These Bat & Coffin Toilet Paper Holders will scare the s**t out of you, but the good news is that you have plenty of TP. This decor is the best way to take a creepy caca. Or a great guano. You know, what bats do. You can choose one or buy both. You’d have to be batty to not buy these awesome Bat & Coffin Toilet Paper Holders.

They will look amazing with these Gothic Bat Hand Towels if you have a bat theme. And who doesn’t? You have to have bats in your belfry. You just have to. Bats are cool! Now for a little song. *clears throat* The bats in the Belfast belfry had a bewildered and bedazzled breakfast break before Brian the brainiest began breaking bad before a beleaguered and big breasted basilisk in a busted bra bragged and belittled the bastid!

Ok. that was not so much a song as it was the mating call of a mentally ill writer. But hey, that’s a lot of B words. I have a great vocabulary. The point is that I need these pieces of bat decor in my life. It’s called the bat room not the bathroom. Deal with it.

Krampus Deluxe 7-Inch Action Figure

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Krampus Deluxe 7-Inch Action Figure

Holy Krampus. I always wanted my very own Krampus Deluxe 7-Inch Action Figure. Now I can get one for my very own. Look at this guy. The ancient demonic force from the 2015 spooky Christmas film is looking scary indeed. Use it for your holiday horror display or year round. There’s no wrong way to display this terror. He also comes with plenty of cool accessories. To be honest, this looks like me before my first cup of coffee. Have your self a terrifying Christmas. Oh yes, you will.

I mean I already pack a 6 inch Krampus, if know what I mean ladies. I might as well get a Krampus Deluxe 7-Inch Action Figure. Just for bragging rights you know. Although its not the size of the Krampus, it’s how you display him for the holidays. Also check out this Krampus Holiday Cards Set. Send a card to me. I’m lonely. Sigh. But at least I have old Krampy here. He never lets me down. He scares the hell out of me, but he never lets me down. Old Krampy. Haha. That’s what I used to call my exe wife once a month. i wonder why she left me.

Bloody Pearl Necklace Choker

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Bloody Pearl Necklace Choker

For the refined lady with a touch of darkness. I present to you the Bloody Pearl Necklace Choker. You are refined and intelligent, regal. But you long for the vampire’s breath gently caressing your neck, suddenly growing hot as he bares his teeth and goes in for the bite. At first, the pain is unbearable, but quickly becomes ecstatic. Your essence rushes out, pumped by his lustful need- Oh shizz, I was saying that out loud as I typed and now everyone at the library is looking at me. Hey, it’s where I write sometimes. That librarian must have dry lips. She keeps licking them as she watches me. Get some ChapStick freak!

Anyway, if you crave the excitement of vampiric exsanguination, but lack either a nearby vampire or good looks, this Bloody Pearl Necklace Choker is the next best thing. Look at that sophisticated and stylish splatter. Sexy! Now that’s a necklace!

The Shining Pizza Cutter – Here’s Johnny!

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The Shining Pizza Cutter - Here's Johnny!

It would have been a whole different movie if Jack Torrance had this The Shining Pizza Cutter. For one thing he never would have busted the door down with this thing, but if he did manage to get in, he would have sliced up your pizza to perfection. See, he’s not such a bad guy. Here’s Johnny. And here’s your once beautiful pizza pie, all sliced and diced and in a million pieces.

The Shining Pizza Cutter. It even has the famous quote on the handle. On the other side is the movie logo. All work and no pizza makes Jack a dull boy. Hey, when you don’t have pizza, you get hungry. Hungry leads to hangry and hangry leads to you going a little off the rails. It happens. I wouldn’t try to slice this Nightmare on Elm Street Animated Soul Pizza though.