Inflatable Crashed UFO

Inflatable Crashed UFO
What the deuce? That’s no weather balloon! Also not swamp gas! You put this Inflatable Crashed UFO in your yard and the military is gonna show up and start silencing witnesses. They don’t want you to know that inflatable aliens exist. They also want to reverse engineer inflatable UFOs and steal their superior inflatable UFO technology.

Why do you think our pool toys got so much better? Why do you think our love dolls are so irresistible? With such full lips and soft skin. So realistic… Just guessing about that last one.

And I don’t need no Men in Black showing up. I already know. I didn’t see nothing and nothing happened here. Consider my mind like my butt. Wiped.

Inflatable Gargoyle Halloween Costume

Inflatable Gargoyle Halloween Costume
What in the f**kitty s**tstorm! What on Earth is that Gargoyle doing to you? Oh wait. Just saw the last two images. What are YOU doing to him? I don’t even- It goes from a surprise dry-hump(LOL Look at the terror on that guy’s face. He’s got his hand out like, “Oh nos! WTF is happening?) to an insane struggle that has both of these freaks on the ground rolling around. I’m unsure if this is consensual or not which makes me feel weird.

On the off chance that this ended up being consensual, I wish you both the best of luck. If not. I hope that weird dude feels better soon.
Read more “Inflatable Gargoyle Halloween Costume”

Inflatable Hail Protector Is A Condom For Your Car

inflatable hail car protector
Stuff like hail and rain and falling frogs and such will hurt your car’s exterior. If you want to protect your finish, you better get an Inflatable Hail Protector. Or as I like to call it, a car condom. You protect your crotch junk with one, so put one on your car.

The hail protector makes your car look like a blimp. It inflates with air so your windshield and paint job will be safe and sound from hail and other stuff. And it won’t get your garage pregnant either. Because there’s nothing worse then waking up in the morning and finding an extra tiny car in the garage. Protection people.

Inflatable Toast

inflatable toastInflatable Toast is the toast of the town. It is guaranteed to turn your frown upside down. That much is certain. But what the hell do you do with it? Hang it from your car rearview mirror? Present it to a mouse as a nice comfy air mattress?

I have no idea. I just really love toast enough to buy this. Toast is awesome. Buttery toast with jam. Yummy. Maybe I will use this as a toast rest. I have no idea, but I feel a rhyme coming on.

Inflatable Toast.
Blow it up with some air.

Put some butta on dat b**ch
like you don’t even care.

Spread it real good
till it’s nice and creamy.

I eat toast in the shower
all nice and steamy.

Bottom of ma toaster
all filled with crumbs.

All you haters of carbs
are f***ing dumb!

Inflatable Pizza Chair

pizza chairThis Inflatable Pizza Chair is a slice of heaven that looks like a slice of pepperoni pizza. This is the true meaning of the phrase “comfort food”. Hey, I would sleep in a bed of mac and cheese if it’s comfortable. The macaroni would be the mattress, letting you sink down just enough so that the warm cheese enfolds as a wet gooey blanket that you can lick all night.

Anyway, this slice of pizza looks super comfy. It might be just what I need. Hey, did you wet yourself again? Hell no, I’m a big boy now. Really? What’s that spot? That’s just pizza grease. Totally normal.