Tag: interior frighting

Nosferatu Lampshade

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Nosferatu Lampshade
This Nosferatu Lampshade will light up your life and illuminate the supernatural bloodsucker known as Nosferatu. *Sings* I’m doing all right, getting good grades. My lamp is so bright, it’s gotta wear shades…

This lamp shade is odd really cuz vampires don’t like the light. He should come out when the light goes off, raid your fridge, make a sammich or two and sneak back on the lampshade before you even know anything happened. But what do I know?

How do you know when a vampire has a cold?
He keeps a coffin!

I have proven once again that I can write jokes at a fifth grade level. Go me. Actually I stole that joke from a third grader.
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Baby Doll Table Lamp With Trophy Barbie Head

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Baby Doll Table Lamp With Trophy Barbie Head
Not sure what to make of this Baby Doll Table Lamp With Trophy Barbie Head. He’s making a face like he has a monkey-brain, which explains why he is tearing a Barbie doll limb from limb. Anybody can do that. Barbies have so little body fat that they come apart like string cheese. So I’m not impressed.

Anyway, put some damn clothes on baby. Can you be attached to a lamp that makes me un-see things?

Root Chandeliers: Light Your Room With Tormented Souls

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root chandelier
Etsy seller FikoArt sells chandeliers made from tree roots. They also look like tormented souls crying out in pain every time you turn on the lights. Yeah, great decorating choice honey. Sure, I love it. Blah blah, looks great. Nah. I’m good. I’ll just eat my dinner in pitch blackness. Does that one guy have a light bulb for a wiener? I can’t tell, cuz it’s all disturbing.

I AM GROOT! KILL ME!

I am under you, trying to eat dinner. Kill ME!

I guess we are both screwed!

Deep Sea Angler Fish Lamp

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Deep Sea Angler Fish Lamp
*Pretend swimming through my hazy and murky bedroom.* What’s that? Oh, shiny! I have to touch it. *CHOMP* This Deep Sea Angler Fish Lamp makes every day an adventure. A scary adventure, full of teeth.

This crazy fish is basically a flood light. Get it? Flood? It stands 5 feet tall, 4 feet wide and 5 feet long. The light over the head will lure you in so that when you walk closer, the eyes and body light up using a motion sensor light. I’m scared just thinking about it.

Alien Egg Night Light

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Alien Egg Night Light
I’m putting this Alien Egg Night Light in the bathroom so that the next time someone enters after me and says, “What the hell? Did you lay an Alien egg in there?” I can say yes. Yes I did. Enjoy it’s exotic glow mingled with the delicate yet putrid notes of my own natural scents.

This alien egg is pretty terrifying, but pretty cool. It’s where the Xenomorphs and facehuggers come from. They used to call me a facehugger too cause if I don’t like you or if you’re invading my space, my hand goes straight for the face and I don’t let go. No matter how much you lick at my palm. People think I’m all aggro and freaky, but really I’m just practicing the Vulcan mind meld. Spoiler alert: It doesn’t work. You just end up with a bunch of friends with dents in their face that match your fingers. They never showed that part in your precious Star Trek. You live, ya learn.
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