Tag: interior frighting

Dark Shadows Gargoyle Sculptural Lamp

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Dark Shadows Gargoyle Sculptural Lamp
Damn, this gargoyle is all like, “Waz up? I have arrived and I’m about to move my wings like a trench coat and flash you.” Enjoy the ethereal light that seems to emminate from his ghostly gargoyle crotch. This Dark Shadows Gargoyle Sculptural Lamp is half evil, half… I don’t know what. I just know I don’t want to see his demon weenie, but he seems to be threatening to show it. Is that a light in your loafers or are you just happy to see me? Both? Cool. This lamp will cast some neat light onto your wall, I just hope it doesn’t cast a shadow shaped like his demonic junk.

Gargamel the gargoyle got gassy and gargled garlic in the great gazebo with Gonzo the ghost guest. I just had to type that. No reason. Glad I got that out of my system. Now my brain will have room for other more important stuff. Despite his glowing nether regions on this lamp, it’s a pretty cool piece of interior frighting. You guy readers should get one. Because every Gar-boy needs a Gar-goyle! I totally nailed that one! Usually I just staple gun it. Or even thumb tack it.

Skull With Brain Electric Candle Holder

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Skull With Brain Electric Candle Holder
This Skull With Brain Electric Candle Holder is a really bright idea. No wonder the light bulb above his head is lighting up. It takes brains to come up with an idea like this and this guy has brains. I know because they;re exposed and a candlestick just happens to be shoved in there. This is an awesome and creepy electric candle. The very definition of interior frighting. I know because I looked it up in my 53rd edition Cobwebs and Creepery dictionary. It had a picture of this thing.

I bet those brains look great by candlelight. Someone said the same thing about me once, but that was a zombie who was trying to invite me to dinner.
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Interior Frighting: Crazy Skeleton Chandelier

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Interior Frighting Crazy Skeleton Chandelier
This Skeleton Chandelier is made from plastic and bone molds. Only hang this up if your house has good bones. Get it? Pretty cool chandelier though. I find those bones humorous. *Crickets chirp* I’m just ribbin’ ya. This thing is perfect for any home, but especially if your house already looks like it came out of a horror movie.

*Sits down to eat dinner. Jaw bone falls from the ceiling and sinks into mashed potatoes. Shakes fist at chandelier. Picks bone out and goes back to eating.*
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Weird Franken-Baby Doll Head Lamp

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Weird Franken-Baby Doll Head Lamp
ACK! Get that baby away from me! Go Franken-baby! Get out of here! *Swings my torch at him and jabs my pitchfork at him.* This is a face that only a mother could love. Yeah, a blind mother f***er! If you’re looking for something nasty and horrible to light up your room at night, look no further than this Weird Franken-Baby Doll Head Lamp.

*Shudders* I need therapy just from seeing this thing. It has like a Jack-O-Lantern carving in the back of it’s skull too. Also seems to emit the blue light of a hundred souls that it has devoured.
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It’s For You: Skeleton Hand Phone Lamp

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skeleton phone
Riiiiiinnnnngggggggggg! Riiiiiinnnnngggggggggg! It’s for you. Oh, thanks! What the shizz?! This cool Skeleton Hand Phone Lamp will light your home and make it look like a skeleton is picking up the phone for you.

*Calls the repairman* Creepy Phone and Lamp Repair Inc.? Hey, the phone part of my lamp doesn’t work. It never rings.

I’ll come out and look at it.

*Two hours later. Creepy looking Beetlejuice looking guy shows up.*

What do we have here?

The ringer doesn’t work!

Hmmmmm. There’s your problem. The ring finger is broken. I see this all the time. *Puts a ring on it.* Goodbye!

*Calls back* It’s still not working. I can call out, but it never rings.

Okay, hang up. I’ll try the line.

Riiiiiinnnnngggggggggg! Riiiiiinnnnngggggggggg!

It works! It works!

Yeah and I think we know what the problem is now. It’s cuz you have no friends. *Sad silence* Fine! I’ll come over and we can play with your bone-phone loser-lamp.