Tag: jaws

Bloody Shark Bathtub Drain Stopper

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Bloody Shark Bathtub Drain Stopper
Damn that’s nasty. This Bloody Shark Bathtub Drain Stopper makes it look like a shark has swam up your bathtub pipe after a ferocious and bloody meal and just kinda got stuck there. Now he’s just hanging out, enjoying the suds from your bubbles, while you two make small talk. Hopefully he doesn’t get loose and start swimming toward your junk.

“What do you have detective?”

*Hovers over body in tub* “This is the second one this week. We appear to have a serial killer. One that likes to eviscerate nads while the victim is enjoying a nice bubble bath. Nothing else is touched. When he finishes his work, he drains the water and with it the evidence. Notice the blood wiped on this guy’s lips. It’s as if something very small and very bloody kissed him afterwards, all ritualistic like. Sicko!”

Fin!
(Haha. Get it? It means the end. Also shark fin! I rock. No…. I Rock Z. Ha ha. I did it again. Like the car. Iroc Z. Other writers can suck it!)

Chomping Shark Slippers

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shark slippers
Man, I’m beat. I spent all day installing some sea blue carpet so I can wear these Chomping Shark Slippers and shuffle back and forth in search of chum. I call it shark room.

The first rule of shark room is: We don’t talk about shark room.
The second rule of shark room is: You don’t enter without wearing your chompers.
The third rule of shark room is: You don’t blog about shark room.

Well, I guess I’m out, having violated rules 1 and 3. It was fun while it lasted.

Jaws Attacks Necklace

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etsy jaws necklace
Who’s sharkin’ around for a new necklace? Something with some bite! Something that says my neck is a 70’s horror movie featuring an ocean predator about to attack an unsuspecting swimmer!

The Jaws Attacks Necklace is perfect! If you want, you can even replace the swimmer other stuff. Like grilled cheese, maybe a candy bar. Something that the shark can really sink it’s teeth into.

SpyMo Toys Are My Kind Of Crazy

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spymo toys
Check out these awesome custom toys from Spymo Toys. It’s about damn time Bruce from the Jaws movie had his own action figure. I hope you can open him up and find tires and stuff in his belly. Check out some other cool stuff below. Like Rosemary’s baby, V.A.L.I.S. from the Phillip K. Dick novel, Pazuzu from The Exorcist and my personal favorite the DMT Warrior.

I never collected any DMT Warriors, but I’ve visited their dimension and let me tell you, that figure is no exaggeration. Pretty cool stuff. I’m buying them all and taking them out of the package and forcing them to play with my Star Wars: Phantom Menace toys. Since nobody else will play with them. Ugh!

Okay, sometimes I make the others torture Jar Jar, but that’s it. Okay, I also occasionally make Padme and that fat Gungun make out, but really, that’s it.
Read more “SpyMo Toys Are My Kind Of Crazy”

Shark Serving Plate

Artemis Winterford2 Comments

shark serving plate
We’re gonna need a bigger fork! This crazy Shark Serving Plate is all about the thrill of rescuing your food from the waiting jaws of a great white shark and putting it in your own tooth-hole.

Quit sharkin’ around my food holmes, or there’s gonna be blood in the water! That sweet chum is all mine!

*Shines flashlight down it’s throat*

What the- A Reese’s Piece, a half-chewed skittle and a gummi bear? I forgot I was using this as a candy dish. Awesome! Dinner just got a whole lot more- What the? A cigarette butt!

Who’s been using my shark as an ashtray?