The Zombie Cameo Barrette is a stylish undead corpse for your hair. He doesn’t look happy about it either. I was wondering earlier if zombies went number 2. Aka took a crap. Then I realized that this is all they do. They crap their pants, they crap their skin off, sometimes their jaw takes a crap and falls right off. So zombies are the crappiest. They are basically nature’s ex-lax. This barrette is going to look great in your hair girls. No, I don’t mean that someone ex-laxed all over your hair. I’m just not good with words. That’s why I said crap like ten times here. I’m crap with words.
Tag: jewelry
Cryptid Monster Necklaces
Accessorize with some cryptids. These Cryptid Monster Necklaces feature hand drawn images of the world’s most elusive monsters. For when you are in the mood to wear a Chupacabra, Bigfoot, The Jersey Devil or any of the other mythical monsters that roam our world, but remain in the shadows. Pro tip: The Jersey Devil is a guy named Earl who will overcharge you for a used car, with a body in the trunk, but you’ll take it anyway cuz you have to get the hell out of New Jersey.
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Dragon Eye Pendants
It’s the… Eye of the dragon. It’s the thrill of the fight. Rising up to the challenge of our rival.And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night. And… he’s… watching us all… with the eyeeeeeeeee…. of the dragon! Love that song. These sweet Dragon Eye Pendants from CharlieMorgon are watching you and watching me. There’s no telling what they see. Although masturbation is a high probability. Just sayin’. All I’m sayin’ is maybe put some black tape over the eye before you do the deed, just like you would with your webcam. It’s just good advice.
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Brass Hellcat Necklace
This Brass Hellcat Necklace is gonna raise all kinds of hell. It’s gonna scratch your furniture up, knock your drink off the table, sneak some catnip and get all fuzzed up, then lay down for 5 hours and start again. Wait, that’s my cat. No, this necklace is just an awesome piece of jewelry that looks ferocious and badass. Here kitty kitty. Stop biting me. Are you getting drunk on my blood again? Bad kitty! Sorry. Again, that was my cat.
Meowzers that is one cool cat. I’d scratch it’s belly if it had one, which is probably a good thing cuz it would just kick at me with it’s paws and rip my hand to shreds. This necklace is so good it will make you catatonic. Which would be a catas-trophy. Which isn’t the good kind of trophy.
Bronze and Silver Bird Skull Necklaces
These Bronze and Silver Bird Skull Necklaces are caw-ing your name ladies. See what I did there. That’s just some wordplay to get things started, cuz I know how you like it. I’m not some savage who just whips out his bird (necklace) first thing. But forget all that. Throw caw-tion to the wind and accessorize with these awesome skulls, with sapphire, ruby, topaz, amethyst and peridot stones. Caws you deserve it. I promise you won’t cry fowl. The price? A poultry sum. I’m not gonna crow about it anymore. Even though they are worth raven about.