Hey Octopus! Your ass is grass and I’m the lawn mower. Wait, is that how the saying goes. More like, your ass is glass and I’m the Glassblower. Haha. Burn! Wait, that really sounds wrong. Anyway, these Glass Octopus Pendants are awesome. What’s Kraken? Hopefully not these guys! They can’t take a hit, cuz I heard they have a glass jaw. I wonder where they’re from. Glass-gow? Enough dumb-(gl)ass Octopus jokes. These glass octopus pendants from EmergentGlassworks are going to look great on you. Especially if you are wearing an ocean themed shirt. You ladies are gonna rock-to-pus this octopus.
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Tag: jewelry
Raven Claw Wall Mounted Hook
This Raven Claw Wall Mounted Hook is gonna come in real handy. I’m gonna mount it low on the wall and use it to scratch my back. You can use it as a coat hook, a jewelry hanger, you can put a crystal ball in it’s talons and make it look all creepy. It’s awesome cuz it looks like a bird just punched through your wall and is trying to grab at you. Just be careful when installing it. You have to be very talon-tid. ha ha ha ha ha. Not really that funny, I know. You know what is funny? Hanging one of those fake scrotums you see on the back of pick-up trucks in it’s talons. I am such an awesome interior designer! No need to thank me.
Stone Skull Cross Pendants
These Stone Skull Cross Pendants from wayanbrothers are badass. What up Damon! What up Marlon! It’s a crucifix skeleton. A Skele-fix. A Crucible of cruci-bones. A cross of calcium. It’s stone cold awesome. Let’s make a petition so that priests have to wear these. I just need your signature right here. Boom! You been scammed bro! You just signed up for a pyramid scheme and I’m at the top, watching all you slaves build the pyramid. Faster! Faster slaves! Oh dang! There’s a guy above me and he just got all the profits. No wonder the Egyptians gave up on pyramids.
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Tombstone and Open Grave Ring
I love this Tombstone and Open Grave Ring from VonErickson, who also made these cool zombie graduation rings. The problem is, ever since I started wearing it, that open grave keeps filling up with corpses. I fall asleep and wake up to find a dead cockroach inside. I swat a fly on my arm and it lands right in the open grave. That’s all cool, but the tombstone gets new writing every time. When I killed that fly it read “Buzzkill”. When the cockroach was in there, it had the bug’s name along with a birth and death date and “Father of two million”. Crazy.
Vampire Teeth Ring
This Vampire Teeth Ring has got bite! You know that Dracula wears one like this right? But I ain’t tellin’ ya where he wears it. Know what I’m sayin’? What I’m sayin’ is he wears it as a Vampire C**k Ring, or VCR for short. Why ya gotta make me spell it out for ya? Damn. Never ask to see a Vampires VCR, cuz that ain’t a Samsung or Panasonic! What do you mean, how do I know? I just do. I’ve said too much. The point is, you should wear it out in the open so everybody knows. Just sayin’. I’m getting two of these bad boys so I can have a full Vampire jaw on my finger.