Zombie Friendship Keychains – Apocalypse Partners

Zombie Friendship Necklace - Apocalypse Partners
Freddy Mercury said it best. Friends will be friends… Kind of obvious in retrospect, but there you have it. Friends are friends. Right till the end. Sometimes that end is a zombie apocalypse, with you shooting your friend in the head because your BFF is a dirty rotten zombie. That’s the way it goes. Doesn’t mean you aren’t friends. Just means you don’t want them eating your brain. Anyway, this Zombie Friendship Keychains set signifies that you and your BFF are zombie apocalypse partners and that you vow to do whatever it takes when the zombies roam the streets. Even if that thing is splitting up and running when you see the undead.

Even though it means that you will never find each other again, while you live a harsh life of survival, doing whatever you have to to get by, so that 5 years later your shaggy bearded self checks the zombie traps you set (the ones where they step on a trigger and a blade swings down, chopping their heads off) only to find a headless zombie body and the other half of your keychain in its pocket.

*Tears* So sad. Still friends. But so sad.

Free Hugs – Skeleton Hands and Arms Necklace

Skeleton Hands and Arms Necklace
There’s nothing like the cold dead embrace of skeleton arms around your neck. Except when your grave robbing and fall in and the skeleton hugs you like crazy while you’re just screaming and freaking out, but enough about my weekend. This Skeleton Hands and Arms Necklace is like a bony hug all day long from a skeleton that loves you. There’s no guarantee that those bony hands won’t touch your boob and cop a feel now and then, but that’s the chance you take. Just smack its hand and it will behave. Maybe.
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Teeth Pendant Necklace

Teeth Pendant Necklace
This Teeth pendant necklace is a bunch of teeth and pink gums in necklace form. Why? Because the tooth fairy gets bored. And is also touched in the head. It will look real nice with a Christmas sweater and will probably chew any and all crumbs that you drop. Make sure you brush ’em day and night.

Phrenology Head Cufflinks

Phrenology Head Cufflinks
Phrenology is the study of the head. True science. You can learn a lot by looking at a head. Like if it has lice or hasn’t been washed in like 5 days. So totally true. These Phrenology Head Cufflinks honor this science and put some classic looking cue balls on your cuffs.

Go ahead, feel my head and tell me all about my metal disorders and personality traits.

*Touches my head and massages my scalp.* This spot says that you are a very creative person.

Nah, that’s just where I fell and hit my head. Although I was creatively doing Jackass stunts at the time and having my friend hit me in the nuts while going down a windy mountain road doing about 50 in a shopping cart.

This area is all about your sex life.

Is it small? Is it a tiny area? Yeah, then that’s accurate too.

See, it’s a real science. No doubt about it.

Rib Cage Chain With Skeleton Cameo

Rib Cage Chain With Skeleton Cameo
Nice ribs! I hear protective boob wear is all the rage now that Wonder Woman has a movie, but this Rib Cage Chain With Skeleton Cameo isn’t going to protect any Warrior Princesses. It does accentuate your rack pretty nicely though. I’m just ribbing ya. That was crude. Ya might say that joke was a bust. This boob-cage is like a decorative outer-wire bra. I like it. Best rack of rib I’ve seen all day and I just got back from the butcher’s shop. At least I think I went today. My mammary is not what it used to be. I prefer my boobs free range though, not all cooped up in a cage. They need to run wild, even if it’s a bit nippy outside.