OpheliasChest makes some pretty terrifying jewelry. I for one, have never seen OpheliasChest, cuz I look her in the eye. I’m a gentleman. I also still have two black eyes from the last time I got caught looking at some boobage. Is it a little nippy in here or is it just me? Anywho, check out these Alien Xenomorph and Egg Chokers. They also have matching bracelets. These accessories are horrifying, yet awesome. I hope those eggs don’t hatch a facehugger, cuz that’s an accessory you don’t want any part of. No one wants their face hugged off. You hear my Aunt Sue? And your kisses are all slobbery and gross.
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Tag: jewelry
Gothic Skull Cameo Earrings
Hey girls. You know what would look great with your skull? Two more skulls. One of each side. These Gothic Skull Cameo Earrings are to die for. Hehe I made a funny. Which is better than making a boom boom, especially when it’s unexpected and your stomach is raging like a storm, and the lightning inside that storm strikes, and makes a real boom boom in your boxers, and you’re in the grocery store. Clean in aisle me! But digress. *Sigh* It’s been a tough day and that’s a long walk out of the store. These earrings are going to look great and goth and great googly moogly in your ear-holes.
Stranger Things Demogorgon Necklace
Relive the thrill and the terror of the Demogorgon with this Stranger Things Demogorgon Necklace. It basically looks like a starfish from Satan’s beach resort. *Shudders* And that’s just the demo-Gorgon! They really cranked it up to Eleven on this one. Get it? I knew you would. That’s why you and me were meant to be together. You get me. You really get me. Now get me a coke and some fries k? Love you too. Kisses.
This Spider Fang Ring Looks Deadly
I use this Spider Fang Ring like brass knuckles. That bite. Don’t mess with me man, I have a spider bite that will incapacitate you. I’m talking some serious venom. The kind you have to fly to peru to get a antidote for. Okay, the fangs are just coated with windex and pledge cuz that’s how I clean the ring, but I bet it still gives you a nasty infection. Especially with one of these rings on each finger.
*Kisses my ring hands* You want some of this twin army of spider fangs in yo face son? I call this hand the Black Widow and I call this one the widower. The first is gonna put you in the hospital, the second is gonna hit you say hard your wife will feel it- Hey let go. What are you doing? Why are you gripping my spider fang hands so I can’t attack? No! No, of course I don’t like punching myself and no! No, I don’t know why I’m doing it. No, I can’t stop. *Crying* No, I won’t say it! *Sobs* Really, you’ll stop if I say it? Okay, okay! “Fangs for the memories!” *Falls to knees and cries myself to sleep in the fetal position*
Tentacles and Teeth Pocket Watch
Let me see what time it is. I don’t want to be late for- DEAR EFFING GOD! This Tentacles and Teeth Pocket Watch won’t give you the time, but it might give you a heart attack. What time is it guv-ner? You dare ask me for the time you timeless cretin? Here let me show you. *Guy screams and holds his head.* There’s the time! It’s teeth and tentacle time! Look closer! It’s half past horror and a quarter to insanity! Now off with you, before I show you the alarm function!
If this watch takes a licking,but keepson ticking, it can die,cuz I ain’t lickin’ that.