I really need to get kraken on my reading. Get it? These Kraken Bookends will help me keep my books organized. Look at that tentacle just attacking that ship and breaking it in half. I bet he flexed his tentacle muscles afterward too, like “Yeah son! That’s what’s up! You just got krakalacka kracked! Boo-Ya!”
Tag: kraken
Tentacle Winestoppers
You can either buy these awesome Tentacle Winestoppers or do like I do and keep a caged octopus on your kitchen counter. I just set my wine down and bonk him on the head, until he sticks a tentacle in my bottle. That’s probably why my wine tastes like Calamari. You want some water? Huh? You better cooperate! My Coke was tasting pretty flat last I checked too. Arghhhh! Stop strangling me!
Cthulhu Wood Bookends
Unhand my books Cthulhu! You tentacled tyrant! These Cthulhu Wood Bookends are ironically not the ends of books at all, but rather a tentacled monster to hold up your books. Some people are confused easily, so had to point that out. Better get one of these and get Kraken on your reading? Get it? Kraken? I know, lame. But this thing won’t look lame on your shelf. It’ll look badass and Cthulhu-y.
Coffee Mugs With Etched and Painted Tentacles
Wow. So tenta-cool man! Look at those tentacles just wavin all over the place. Probably doing the wave! These Coffee Mugs With Etched and Painted Tentacles are awesome. Get yourself a face full of tentacles with your coffee or tea.
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Kraken Octopus Ring
Unleash the Kraken! Well, you didn’t have to give me the finger while wearing a Kraken Octopus Ring. That’s not a very nice way to unleash the Kraken. Then again, now that I think about it, there’s probably no polite way to unleash the Kraken. And I really have to stop barging into rooms and shouting that.
You would think I would have learned my lesson after rushing through my bathroom door and shouting it. The plumber was still crouched over the toilet, and he had already unleashed his hairy Crack-en. *sigh* Some phrases sound cool, but should never be uttered.
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