Tag: kraken

Kraken Bottle Candle Holders

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Kraken Bottle Candle Holders
Vile Kraken! Unhand my bottle! I mean un-tentacle that bottle ye spirit drinking serpent! Whatever. Just have it. Probably full of Kraken backwash by now anyway.

Krakens can’t keep their tentacles off of these Kraken Bottle Candle Holders. Obviously. I tried slapping that tentacle away and all I got was sucker punched. Get it? Cuz their tentacles are full of suckers? You know what else is full of suckers? A lollipop store! Zing! All day suckers! Double zing! Think about that next time you go into a candy store.
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Kraken Triptych Wall Art Prints

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Kraken Triptych Wall Art Prints
Yeah, this is what’s Kraken on your walls. These Kraken Triptych Wall Art Prints are kraka-laka-crazy. You can practically hear the screams of seamen as it attacks the boat. I know that sounds sexual, but notice I spelled seamen the right way and everything. So you are the one with their mind in the gutter. I suggest you get it up out of the gutter,rinse it off real good with soap and water and try again. Really. Some people.

Anyway, that ship is full of seamen whether it likes it or not and once the Kraken attacks, that beast is gonna have a whole mouth full of seamen. Bits of seamen will probably be all over it’s face. There’s gonna be seamen spraying everywhere.

It’s a cool set of prints.
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Articulated Paper Dolls Depicting Mythical Creatures

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Articulated Paper Dolls Depicting Mythical Creatures
These Articulated Paper Dolls Depicting Mythical Creatures from ArdentlyCrafted are pretty cool. Pfft. If you play with dolls. *Stealthily hides my GI Joe and kicks my Barbie under the desk.* Just kidding. I don’t type on a desk. I type on a computer. Duh! I would look like an idiot typing on a desk all day. That wood has no keys.

Anyway, these paper dolls of supernatural creatures are pretty friggin’ awesome. I plan to put together a whole playset and create a Mythical Wrestling Federation so they can all fight to the death. My money is on the Chupacabra being the last one standing. They also have Bigfoot, a Kraken, Cerberus, a Pegasus and more. They are all articulated too so you can move their limbs and stuff.
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Cool Monster Eye Pocket Watch Case Pendants

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Cool Monster Eye Pocket Watch Case Pendants
Hey peeps. Do you like monster eyes? Like dragons and Krakens and stuff? TheArkanaWorkshop makes these awesome Monster Eye Pocket Watch Case Pendants. May the eye of the dragon be upon you. I’m not even sure what that means. An old man said that to me in a dream. I think it means it is my destiny to get one of these and wear it. Cool. The secret life that I have in my head rocks! Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, these eyes in pocket watch cases are friggin awesome. These eyes look scary and creepy and totally badass. When I look at it up close, does the dragon see a human eye pendant looking back? Like it’s a portal to another world? If so, I’m gonna moon it.

*Drops pants. Shakes butt in front of dragon pendant.* How do you like that dragon? There’s a full moon out tonight in Hobbit land! Ha ha. Hope I don’t set off any werewolves on that side! *Fire erupts from the pendant as I run away trailing smoke from my burnt butt.*
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Octopus + Pug Dog = Octopug Necklace

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Octopus + Pug Dog = Octopug Necklace
This Octopug Necklace combines two weird things that frighten me, natures Octopus and Natures Pug Dog. Fun fact: Octopi are the only pie I’m scared of. I’ll eat anything else up in a second. The Octopug is nature’s latest mutant creation. It is absolutely Pugnacious! (Just proving I can too use big words, even if I am just guessing at the meaning cuz I heard it somewhere.)

*Wears my new necklace as I walk around town all cool-like* Sup? Pug life yo! Check out my bling bling. I am so awesomely cool now. Thank you dog-tentacled thing!