The Porcupine Lamp always stays on, cuz I reached up into the shade once to turn it off and I needed like 400 stitches. My electric bill is like 2 grand a month, but it’s much safer this way. If you do cut yourself, at least that curved horn under the shade will channel your blood all in one place for easy clean up though. There’s that. That’s a selling point right there. Oh poopy. The bulb just blew. Time to get my chain mail long sleeved shirt and gloves. Screw it. I’m just gonna get the paper towels and band-aids right now.
Tag: lamp
Real Working Uncle Fester Lamp
This Real Working Uncle Fester Lamp is not just some dude that had a light bulb shoved in his word-hole cuz he wouldn’t shut up. It’s a real lamp based on the scene in The Addams Family. Now he can light up your room and your life. I think he needs sleep. Those bags under his eyes don’t look good. This thing is pretty creepy all lit up in the dark. I think it needs a lampshade that is a muzzle. That would be even scarier.
Day Of The Dead Skull Faces Mini LED Color Changing Lamp
Is it the Day of The Dead already? That would explain that rotting zombie at the ATM machine that I had to decapitate with a shovel. It would also explain why my trip to Target was like black friday on acid. Well, time to get my survival gear ready and head out to the mountains, where I will spend my days keeping an eye out for zombies and my nights, reading by this cool Day Of The Dead Skull Faces Mini LED Color Changing Lamp.
Until one night when I fall asleep early and find a zombie gnawing on my arm. Bad zombie! Bad! *hits it in the nose with newspaper. Then when I see it won’t be trained as a pet, blows it’s head off.*
3D Alien Head Lamp
Holy Jeebus! This 3D Alien Head Lamp scared the hell out of me. It wasn’t until I reached behind me and covered my bung-hole and checked myself for implants, that I realized it was a lamp. Pretty realistic. Anyway, ain’t no way they’re coming back.
I have barbwire all over the floor, barbwire on the wall in case they float through and all over the ceiling in case they float through that. I also replaced my bedroom floor with a piranha tank, so I’m good. Only thing is I can’t move from my bed. Can one of you guys maybe come over here with a long piece of wood or something so I can leave my room?
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Lighting Most Fowl – Dancing Chicken Lamp
What poultry offering do I have for you this time? How about a Dancing Chicken Lamp? Does it do the hustle? The Charleston? The Elaine from Seinfeld? I have no idea.
All I know is that this chicken has paid it’s Per-Dues and is ready to dance the night away. So crank up the volume and play some funky nuggets and some free range beats. This lamp is feather-pluckin’ insane son!