Beware the Dental Phantom… I guess cuz he’s just plain nasty and eats light bulbs. This Dental Phantom Accent Lamp is some really freaky interior frighting. He’s got a chrome dome and an appetite for light. These things were used to teach dental students how to turn your teeth into stuff like, yachts, fast cars, summer homes, blow, prostitutes and bail, for those nights when it all goes to hell. Now it’s a lamp that gives you nightmares.
Tag: lamp
Palmistry Lampshade
Check out this cool Palmistry Lampshade. If I was a Palmist I would be all like, “Talk to the hand cuz the face don’t understand.” And I would have palm trees all over my reading room. No, not those palm trees. Palm trees that have human palms on every branch. And I would take Palm Sunday off, just cuz that’s what a Palmist does. And I’ll put Palmolive on the table and say, “You’re soaking in it!” And I would be able to tell from your palm who killed Laura Palmer. How many palm jokes can one man right? I don’t know, but I’m on fire like Napalm!
Actually, I’m tuckered out now. Not gonna palm it off on someone else. Just gonna stop. Not even a hairy palm joke. But I will say that I have no qualms about hairy palms.
Walking Dead Lantern
This Walking Dead Lantern will cast all kinds of cool and creepy shadows on your wall. Pretty cool. If I used a lantern. Which I don’t. What am I, Paul Revere up in here?
I mean, I guess I could go back to using a lantern instead of, you know, electricity. Alright, you talked me into it. I’m also gonna need an old timey hat and a powdered wig. And a bell that I can ring in case zombies attack me. I’ll just wake the whole neighborhood while I’m getting my throat torn out by a hungry zombie. Yeah, that’ll work out great. For people who sell bells and lanterns!
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Coffin Lantern – Go To The Light!
This Coffin Lantern must be what the Grim Reaper holds up when he comes to visit people. You see a lantern like this, you know you’re in trouble. This would look great in your horror themed home. Hey, if moths are attracted to light, do undead moths get attracted to a coffin light? I hope we don’t have a wave of zombie moths because of these things. I might put this outside of my house just to keep others away. Eh, I’m anti-social like that.
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Dark Shadows Gargoyle Sculptural Lamp
Damn, this gargoyle is all like, “Waz up? I have arrived and I’m about to move my wings like a trench coat and flash you.” Enjoy the ethereal light that seems to emminate from his ghostly gargoyle crotch. This Dark Shadows Gargoyle Sculptural Lamp is half evil, half… I don’t know what. I just know I don’t want to see his demon weenie, but he seems to be threatening to show it. Is that a light in your loafers or are you just happy to see me? Both? Cool. This lamp will cast some neat light onto your wall, I just hope it doesn’t cast a shadow shaped like his demonic junk.
Gargamel the gargoyle got gassy and gargled garlic in the great gazebo with Gonzo the ghost guest. I just had to type that. No reason. Glad I got that out of my system. Now my brain will have room for other more important stuff. Despite his glowing nether regions on this lamp, it’s a pretty cool piece of interior frighting. You guy readers should get one. Because every Gar-boy needs a Gar-goyle! I totally nailed that one! Usually I just staple gun it. Or even thumb tack it.