Tag: leggings

Designer Skeleton Costumes

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Designer Skeleton Costumes
Whoa. Nice bones ladies. Nice bones. I mean it. I would never fib…ula. What’s that? You find me humorous? I was worried I would come off too stern…um. Mind if I check out your carpal tunnel? *SLAP* Damn. Just talking about your bones. Anyway, these Designer Skeleton Costumes from BADINKA let people see right into your skin like you are a walking X-ray. And consider me the TSA, cuz I like what I’m seeing. I might even have to pat you down.

These bones have a healthy glow about them. Not sure where the butterflies came from in that one below though. Wait, I get it. I knew these girls were into me. She’s got butterflies in her stomach. Or bone-r-flies. Uh, that doesn’t sound right.
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Mummy Leggings

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Mummy Leggings
Should you buy these Mummy Leggings? I bet you’re torn. They shred the competition’s mummy leggings to pieces. Just because they are distressed, that doesn’t mean you have to be. It’s an easy choice. You either want to look like an ancient and sexy mummy or you don’t.

Worried about an ancient curse? I’m pretty sure they’re cursed, but in a good way. By you! Cursed like, you’re gonna put ’em on and be all like, “Holy f**k I look f***n’ fine!” Your daddy’s gonna be all like, “C’mere mummy. Give daddy some sugar.”

Teeth Leggings – Your Roots Are Showing!

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Teeth Leggings - Your Roots Are Showing!
Do you wear your heart on your sleeve? Why not wear your teeth on your legs? The teeth on these teeth leggings have some pretty long and dingily-dangily roots. It’s okay, I can say dingily-dangily, cuz we all have one. Well, some of us have ’em. Dangle ’em if ya got ’em boys!

Anyway, ya got nice knee teeth babe, but those roots look like they go straight down to your ankles. And that isn’t a bad thing. *Works eyebrows up and down all Groucho Marx like.* We should get together. Get back to me next week after you molar it over. *Works my cigar with my eyebrows.* I’ll take you to dinner. Would you prefer that I put you under first, so it isn’t painful? Zing and I’m outta here.

And remember, if it wasn’t for the laughing gas, we’d both be crying.

Gold Ouija Board Leggings

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Gold Ouija Board Leggings
I wanna slide my planchette all over these Gold Ouija Board Leggings and that’s not just me talkin’ dirty. So go ahead and Ouija yourself! I just wee-jad a little myself. Weak bladder. Really, it’s like a dripping faucet bought from the thrift store at this point. When I was young, that shizz was like I bought it at Home Depot. TMI.

Baby I would love to give you a sweet leg massage while communicating with the other side, so seriously, roll over, let me see what I’m working with here. What? No you look awesome honey. I don’t see any Ouija-toe or nothing.

Skull Leggings

Artemis Winterford3 Comments

skull leggings
Holy Coca-Skulla those are some nice legs. Not bony at all, which is surprising when you consider those fine Skull leggings. Is it hot in here or is it just me? Are you hot blooded, check it and see. Do you got a femur of a hundred and three? See what I did there? That was a little classic rock humor.

Foreigner right?

No, I was born here. zing! Anyway, I’m gonna make like the blogging DJ I am and leave ya with a classic from The Kinks.

I met her in a club down in old Soho
Where you drink champagne and your leggings are full of skull-las
S-K-U-L-L Skull-las.

She walked up to me and she asked me to dance.
I asked her name and in a dark brown voice she said, “Skull-la”
S-K-U-L-L Skull-la, ska ska ska ska Skull-la….