Scottish Wood Imp Looking In The Mirror

Scottish Wood Imp Looking In The Mirror
What the deuce?! This Scottish Wood Imp Looking In The Mirror is horrified by what he is seeing. I don’t blame him. I am too. He’s all flapping his imp wings and scratching the frame with his nails. He always thought he was more handsome than that. Nope. That’s why ya never show an imp a mirror. Actually you know what? I don’t think he’s scared. Check out that impish grin. I think he is trying to have sex with that handsome imp in the mirror. That explains all of the scratching and excitement. I hope he doesn’t break the mirror with his erection. That’s seven years bad luck cuz your pee pee is sore for that long. Unless he’s l-imp? Ha ha ha ha ha. And his name is Dick. Ha ha ha ha.

I should get out more.

Grim Reapers and Roses Framed Mirror

Grim Reapers and Roses Framed Mirror
I always look grim in this mirror. Don’t know why. Must be the lighting. More likely, it’s the two Grim Reapers on this Grim Reapers and Roses Framed Mirror. Damn, I thought Guns N Roses knew how to rock, but they are nothing compared to Grim Reapers and Roses. Their concerts are to die for, cuz people are dying to get in. Anywho, enjoy admiring yourself in this Gothic archway of death.

Don’t be scared though. The seasons don’t fear the Reaper. Nor do the wind, sun and the rain. So you shouldn’t either. Go ahead and knock on that mirror. Ya know why?

Cuz you’ll be knock, knock, knockin’ on heaven’s door! Or hell maybe. Death’s door.

Ornate Coffin Mirror

Ornate Coffin Mirror
Step up to the Ornate Coffin Mirror and have a gander. See who is resting in peace. Spoiler alert. It’s you! It’s always gonna be you. And since you are going to die one day, this mirror tells the future. Unless you choose to be cremated. Then you’ll just show up as a blurry ashy shape in the mirror. What a thrill, to wake up and look into a coffin every morning and see your own fugly face of mortality staring back at you. Makes you feel alive. Also depressed.

Ghost in the Mirror Wall Plaque

Ghost in the Mirror Wall Plaque
Mirror, mirror on the wall- What the? Either I just turned into a beautiful pale woman or there’s a ghost in my mirror. Hey baby. I would say, “My place or yours”, but clearly you already chose my place. This Ghost in the Mirror Wall Plaque will liven up your home. Hopefully she’s always stuck and doesn’t fully emerge one day. I’m gonna get one and hang my keys from her fingers, until she goes back into mirror-world one day and steals them. But that’s cool. She can get away with anything cuz I’m kinda attracted to her. Not that I have a ghost of a chance with her.

Mirror Framed By Fingers

Mirror Framed By Fingers
Um, Okay… This is a Mirror Framed By Fingers. For reals. It has fingers all around it. Looking in this mirror is gonna be a white-knuckle ride baby. Are they all middle fingers? I have no idea, but I’m flipping this thing off like a hundred times, just so we’re even.

Fingers, fingers, on the wall, who’s got the fairest fingers of them all? I do. Mine are the fairest. You just have the most. I would count how many you have, but I don’t have enough fingers to count that high. I might just get this, cuz the mirror I currently have is all thumbs… Not fingers.