Full Moon Panties? Those aren’t full moon panties. Full moon panties are no panties at all. Just your ass painted by the light of the full moon. I would have called these the Wolf of Ball Street. What? They’re for women? Are you sure? Cuz I’m pretty sure I can make that wolf tongue move and appear to lick itself. No takers?
Tag: monster
Creature From The Black Lagoon Block Print
Check out this sweet Creature From The Black Lagoon Block Print. Now you can display one of the coolest movie monsters on your wall. Also one of the slimiest and smelliest. Very fishy. Here he is messing with a ship’s anchor. During a storm. It’s how Gilligan and crew got shipwrecked. True story. Hey if this guy were in the cast it would have been GILL-igan’s Island. Get it? Bad joke? Gil-ty as charged!
Frankenstein Hand Wall Hook or Guitar Hanger
Everybody give a hand to the Frankenstein Hand Wall Hook or Guitar Hanger! *Crowd goes wild* Pretty handy. I’d read his palm, but I would have him in stitches. I have a million of ’em. Like this one:
What do you say when Dr. Frankenstein creates a pile of smokey goo instead of a re-animated monster? Then leaves it sit overnight smelling rotten? *Clears throat* I say, “To the Victor go the spoils…” Get it? Ha ha ha ha ha. Cuz his name is Victor and it is spoiled! Man, I crack myself up. Mostly cuz I’m on crack, but I’mma pretty funny dude too.
Godzilla Wallet
Hey, it’s the monster that wrecked Tokyo. And I ain’t talking Fukushima! What? Too soon? My bad. This cool Godzilla Wallet belongs in your pocket. It shows Godzilla on the rampage, breathing fire. It also shows Godzilla’s anatomy as if he got hit with a laser. I can see he had chicken for dinner, along with a butt-load of Japanese locals and tourists.
I say butt-load cuz it looks like they are gonna hurt coming out. Depending on his digestion anyway. I’d be backed up for a week. That meal is too rich. Get it? Too rich? Cuz ya have to be rich to travel and be a tourist these days.
Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein Pillow Set
This Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein Pillow Set is perfect for you and your monster bride. I like how they have the heads on them so you know which side of the bed is yours. Monsters! Talk about bumping uglies! Am I right? Frankenstein sex is known as the monster mash. And despite what you’ve heard it is not a graveyard smash. And it did not catch on in a flash. Cuz it’s nasty. Worse than old people doing it.