This Necronomicon Cuff Bracelet aka Necronomicuff is pretty sweet. It’s based on the works of H.P. LovesCuffs who also wrote The Cuffs of Cthulhu. It’s pretty cool. Definitely the in fashion statement of the year. It’s perfect to wear to this years Necronomi-con too. I just made that up, so if it ever exists, someone’s gonna owe me money. You read it here first.
I would buy two of these cuffs and wear one on each wrist, so I can deflect bullets with them like Wonder Woman. Pew pew pew! I’m magic! Ow! My wrists! *Falls to knees crying.*
Can you even wrap your skull around this Gothic Black Leather Skull Journal? It’s all creepy and spooky and full of skulls. Kinda like a cemetery that way. A cemetery for your deepest darkest thoughts. Bury them inside and close them like a casket as you snap the cover shut. Wow. I’m getting pretty dark. Good thing no one will ever see what I wrote in there. Pssst! *Beckons you closer* No one must ever know. Read more “Gothic Black Leather Skull Journal”
I have no idea who Jerry Wells is. Maybe he’s the one who lives in the haunted house that looks like a double-wide trailer. Maybe he’s the neighbor that shows up to help them with their paranormal troubles. I have no clue. But this is his Youtube channel. Basically, a bunch of freaky stuff happens to this family of… (Be politically correct. Be politically correct…) crimson-necked Nascar attendees. They have some serious poltergeist activity that no doubt forces them to miss out on things like Walmart sales and buying Dale Earnhardt merch on QVC. Cuz this stuff is some dramatic activity. And it moves with them from place to place.
The first video starts off with papa bear enjoying a smoke and a mountain dew on his EZ chair, just chillin’ in front of his confederate flag drapery. Pretty soon, all hell breaks loose. And by hell, I mean bad acting. Here’s the first line of dialogue: “I’m so glad we went out and got this new camcorder…” Yeah. seems legit. It’s worth watching it all the way through. It’s like the Beverly Hillbillies lost all of their money and got ghost-rich up in this crib.
The ghost starts to mess with the piano at one point, but I’m guessing it was just a gerbil they stuck in there. Make your own follow up joke. At one point the dude reaches in the kitchen cabinet (Which is full of their best china…Red party cups) and grabs a plastic red party cup. Dude pours his coffee in, pops it in the microwave and wonders why the ghost messed with the microwave. This stuff is para-not-normal gold.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlEFd6Maogg
Click through for another vid of a kid’s birthday party where a ghost destroys the kitchen. Here are some highlights:
Kids are happy, despite the genetic chutes and ladders game taking place in that room. Candles are getting lit. They start singing happy birthday. Candles get blown out. Then at the 1:00 mark shizz gets real! Read more “NSFW The Paranormal Life and Times Of Jerry Wells”
It’s the lighting of the dead! These Necronomicon Prayer Candles will have you saying a prayer alright. Dear God in heaven, what ancient evil have I conjured up in my quest for spooky mood lighting?
SmallMagicBindery has many styles to choose from and all will have you on your knees, praying to your God, while crying and trying in vain not to poop yourself as a portal opens up, letting horrible nightmare monsters in. Oops. It happened. You pooped yourself. You can either stop to wipe, or run. I suggest running with your big ol’ mud-butt. Read more “Necronomicon Prayer Candles”
This Book Of The Dead Necronomicon iPhone Case lets the book of the dead protect your iPhone. From being dead. It’s compatible with the iPhone 4/4S , iPhone 5/5S, and iPhone 6. Screams of torment sold separately. Book of the dead. Pfft! You get old enough and your high school yearbook starts turning into that.
Damn that face looks cranky. Maybe he’s hungry. Somebody give that thing some lunch. Maybe someone should check it’s diaper, cuz a certain iPhone case looks like Mr. Grumpy pants. Read more “Book Of The Dead Necronomicon iPhone Case”
