These Horror Movie Coffin Clocks feature some of our favorite horror movie icons. What time is it? Apparently, time to die. My hat is off to the seller. Making clocks this this isn’t exactly Child’s Play. It can be a real Nightmare on Elm Street, but once they are finished you can look at them and see The Shining. And now I am all out of word play for these clocks. Damn my NyQuil-addled mind.
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Tag: nightmare on elm street
Horror Vinyl Record Wall Clock
This Horror Vinyl Record Wall Clock makes my horror loving heart skip a beat. Get it? Like a record skipping? *Pfft* This generation and their CDs. Huh? What do you mean they don’t use CDs anymore? I wouldn’t know since music is so shizz these days. They gotta get in the groove and get on track. Heh. Just some more vinyl record humor.
Anyway, between Freddy, Jason and Michael Myers here, I bet they set a record for killing the most people ever aside from Monsanto of course, so it’s only natural they should actually be on a record looking all scary. This record is also a clock.
Hey what time is it? It’s half past Freddy’s glove and a quarter to Jason’s mask. Naturally.
Have Not So Sweet Dreams: Freddy Krueger Pillow
Sweet Dreams. Not! This Freddy Krueger Pillow features Freddy’s silhouette against the background of his striped shirt. He’s coming for you when you sleep. You know it and I know it. The only thing left to do is to rest your head against this pillow and close your eyes. Then prepare to do battle with the dark demon of dreams.
*Closes eyes. Finds myself in dream world. Psyches myself up for combat with the nightmare man. Sees Freddy sitting at a park bench with a checkers board.*
Holy hell. Not this again. Just kill me already! I don’t care if you need practice. You can’t keep tutoring me like this. Fine, one more game! Then find someone else to play with.
Monster Valentines Day Cards
Don’t be a monster. Treat your girl or guy right this Valentine’s Day. Give them these Monster Valentines Day Cards. The real monsters are the ones that show up empty handed during VD. These remind me of those fun cards everyone was giving each other in school when I was a kid. Well, I wasn’t getting any. Not much has changed. I’m all grown up and still not getting any.
It’s cool, I usually buy myself 5 pounds of assorted chocolates and lock myself in my room for the day. It’s just like what I imagine the life-cycle of real love is like: A whirlwind romance, with a lot of time spent between the sheets and before you know it, you wake up cramping and not being able to poop for a week. Just guessing.
Anywho these monster valentines are pretty cool. They feature various horror monsters carrying a girl off with a heart behind them. And the girl doesn’t even look that scared compared to that time I tried it and ended up in the Police Station overnight until they decided I was too stupid to be the local serial killer. Unless I was a copy cat. I was like, “no way, I don’t copy. I’m 100 percent original in what I do.” For some reason that made them change their mind and I stayed much longer.
Freddy vs Jason Mask
You know, I like Freddy. I also like Jason. But these guys are two-faced. This Freddy vs Jason Mask proves it. Secretly they’re the same guy, doing like twice the murders we thought they were doing. What other conclusion can you come to? This reminds of the other night when I ordered half pepperoni on a pizza. You got a pizza face Freddy! I don’t even care if you slip into my dreams. It has to be said. Now it’s out there. I hope I made you cry.
You made me cry Freddy. The last time you invaded my dreams. I cried for like a week. Giving me a wedgie with underwear that was giant trampoline material and throwing me up and down all night really sucked! *sniff* You really hurt me Freddy. Don’t show up tonight when I close my eyes. I’m gonna need some time. *Sniffle*