This is the kind of bling I’m looking for. A Miniature Gold Toilet With Opening Lid Necklace. I bet it even has a little diamond poop inside too. I always wanted a gold toilet, so I could show it to all the peeps on MTV cribs when they come to check out my sweet Hollywood mansion. Obviously that never happened, but at least I can wear this cool gold commode and pretend.
Toilet bling. That’s what I’m talking about. Now do I put the picture of a loved one inside the lid or someone I hate?
The best cereals have monsters on the box. Like this Frankenberry, Boo Berry And Count Chocula Cereal Box Art. I would hang this on my wall, but I already have the real boxes displayed on my hallway wall. The ants are just a bonus. I probably should have eaten the cereal first. I call it my hallway of cereal horrors.
Boo Berry is my favorite. He’s the ghost with the most! Calories. And sugar! Frankenberry is too flamboyant. He’s trying way too hard. The count? He’s alright. Decorate your walls with cereal dudes. Or if you have a speech impediment, “Surreal dudes”.
These creepy Gothic Shoulder Bags For Your iPad from iRebell will protect your tablet while creeping other people the hell out. That’s always a good thing. Bats are cool. Screw people who don’t get that. Bats are awesome. Sometimes I hang upside down just to be all cool like them. Then I fall on my head and forget what I was doing. The problem is I don’t have sonar. I can get a bonar just fine, ask the ladies, but no sonar. And I will wrap my wings around you and nibble on your neck just like a bat though. I’m very bat-like is what I’m trying to say. If bats were huge in the middle and were barely able to fly and munching on cheese balls all day.
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Meet Milton Moondust. His head is made of cheese. Sometimes people land on it. This makes him sad. It also makes him sad that I just pointed and laughed and called him “Crater-face”. He probably has alien bases on the dark side of his head. NASA has pictures, but they’re covering it up. I guess aliens on his head would be considered moon-cooties. Poor Milton.
This Wine Coffin Display lets you display your wine in style. Break this baby open and drink up. Pretty soon you will be seeing the dead. Would you like some wine? But of corpse! The seller also says that you can display a doll inside, but a doll never got you blind stinking drunk, so I’ll go with the wine. Gonna drink until I’m embalmed with sweet wine and when I’m gone you can bury my liver in this coffin. It worked hard to get me where I am after all.
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