Tag: novelty

UFO And Alien Cookies

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UFO And Alien Cookies
Celebrate your latest alien abduction or UFO sighting by munching on these colorful UFO And Alien Cookies. You know how I celebrated my first abduction? Preparation H. Also, by not being able to sit down for like a week. *Shakes fist at sky aliens* But I admit, that time I showed up in the ER with that Boba Fett action figure lodged in my Sarlacc Pit, that was all me. I learned to clean up my toys before jumping on the couch that night. Poor Boba was never the same. Neither was I! WHY did it have to be the one bounty hunter with a rocket on his back?

These cookies would have made both of those incidents better. Unless aliens showed up while I was eating them. Then I’d have to toss my cookies. At them.

Scary Laser Cut Necklaces

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Scary Laser Cut Necklaces
These Scary Laser Cut Necklaces from CuriologyLtd are so spooky and scary. They will turn your neck into a haunted scene that will turn heads a full 360 degrees like in The Exorcist. But don’t worry, they won’t spit green pea soup at you as they are admiring your necklace. These scenic necklaces are all laser cut. Not phaser cut. Laser cut. Phasers don’t cut well enough, cuz it’s just a phase, but lasers? Lasers will cut you and blind you and kill space aliens. They probably cut these with a friggin’ ray-gun. Pew pew pew! Look what I created!

They have black magic cats, spiders, all kinds of creepy neck wear.
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Chainsaw Oven Mitt And Necronomicon Casserole

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Chainsaw Oven Mitt And Necronomicon Casserole
Etsy seller StellarEvolutionD is pretty handy in the kitchen. She not only whipped up this cool chainsaw oven mitt, but also baked that sweet-ass necronomicon casserole you see there. It’s so neat it’s sassy. That makes it a sass-erole!

What time is dinner? I’ll be over at 6. I’d like the whole face part for myself though. We can take turns wearing that oven mitt and pretending we are chopping each other’s limbs off. That’s a fun night. We’ll end it with a food fight. Sorry, gotta go. You can clean up. Thanks for the grub. See you at the next necronomi-con.
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Zombie Chia Pet

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Zombie Chia Pet
Cha cha cha Chia! This Zombie Chia Pet is a great way to decorate your home with a zombie that won’t eat your brains. I don’t think. It just looks like a zombie crawling out of the grass. I’m no good with pets so I’m just gonna pass on this one. I would probably forget to feed it and that’s when the zombie would come after me trying to get a brain snack. He’s in for a big surprise. There’s not much there. The joke is on you Chia Zombie. Why do you think I forgot to feed ya.

No Thanks: Spider Backpack

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Spider Backpack
I don’t want to alarm you, but there’s a spider on your back. He looks like a spider backpack, but he’s all jacked into your spine and brain, controlling your every action. What do you do? Well, I would hand a good friend a taser and let him zap that stowaway. Hopefully he doesn’t miss and the spider has a seizure before falling to the ground dead. That’s how you deal with that little problem.

Same way I got rid of that tick I had on my side last year, when I grabbed some exposed wire from the wall and slammed it into my side after yelling CLEAR! Blew him to smithereens and burned every hair off my body. I may have looked like a naked mole rat, but I was a naked mole rat without a tick attached. Lifehacks for the win!