Look. A Critter Horror toy! Critters are the worst. You get with the wrong woman in the wrong part of town and you got nothin’ but critters all over your junk and the pharmacist is all like, “This’ll get rid of ’em” so you lather your firepole and bean bags up real good and nothin’. You still got critters everywhere, bitin’ and itchin’, making your junk feel like a whopper cuz it’s all flame broiled down there at this point. These guys are nasty.
Tag: novelty
Boooo-opoly Halloween Game
Play the Boooo-opoly Halloween Game with your boo this Halloween. It’s a scary spooky Monopoly type game that is more treat than trick. Or is it? It’s a scream. Basically this is a fun game for this time of year. Gets you in the mood for all the creeps and crawlies, all the freaks and frights. I promise you won’t be boo-ored.
Scorpion Ear Wrap Earring
Excuse me Miss, you have something crawling on your ear. Uh… Too late. It’s in your ear now, swimming in your ear wax and pinching up your ear drum. *Cups hands together and yells* I said, there’s a scorpion in your ear. Why ya looking at me all dumb? Oh. Damn. It got to your brain now. Well, good luck with that. *Thud* Wow. Never saw a body collapse so fast. I’m out of here.
This Scorpion Ear Wrap Earring looks badass and it will rock you like a hurricane. No joke! Well, that was a joke, but scorpions in your ear is no joke at all.
Cute Graveyard Ghosts Skirt
Excuse me ma’am, your skirt is full of ghosts. What I’m saying is that your nether-regions are being haunted. Your lower half is probably covered in ectoplasm by now. Lucky for you I’m a Ghostbuster. I can help. Wanna be my boo? Jk. Jk. BOO! Did I scare ya? But let’s not skirt the issue. This Cute Graveyard Ghosts Skirt is pretty adorable. You might call it Haunt Couture. It is a grave fashion choice that is sure to raise some spirits.
Life Size Poseable Skeleton
This Life Size Poseable Skeleton has locking joints so you can pose them anyway you want. You know what that means, right neighbors? That’s right, my skeletons are lewd and crude and full of attitude. And not to be misconstrued. You live next to me and you’re screwed. And now I ran out of rhyming words. But basically I’m saying that I’m posing ’em all nasty like. Deal with it. You have blinds.