Through its clever use of dental related hieroglyphics, this Tooth Fairy Anatomical Teeth Bracelet tell the story of the tooth fairy. I think. It could be a horror story about a lonely dentist with two weeks to live and nothing to lose. I have to research it more. But it has teeth all over it. I know that much. It’s enough to make you bi-cuspid curious right?
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Tag: novelty
Porcupine Lamp
The Porcupine Lamp always stays on, cuz I reached up into the shade once to turn it off and I needed like 400 stitches. My electric bill is like 2 grand a month, but it’s much safer this way. If you do cut yourself, at least that curved horn under the shade will channel your blood all in one place for easy clean up though. There’s that. That’s a selling point right there. Oh poopy. The bulb just blew. Time to get my chain mail long sleeved shirt and gloves. Screw it. I’m just gonna get the paper towels and band-aids right now.
Nice Kraken! – Cthulhu Leggings
These Cthulhu Leggings put squishy and colorful tentacles all over your legs. They also accentuate your kraken if you know what I mean. *Checks myself out in the mirror.* Do these leggings make my Cthulhu look huge? No? Good. Gotta say, that shot of them head on kinda makes your lady parts look ferocious. I was gonna flirt with ya, but no effin way! My sea ship doesn’t need to be attacked by your she serpent!
On another note, everyone makes such a big deal out of Cthulhu, but he puts his pants on one tentacle at a time just like the rest of us. I ain’t impressed. Okay, I am impressed by just how many legs his pants actually have. And that when he wears them he looks like a spiky pufferfish with many arms.
Mad Monsters Series 1 Action Figures – Why So Angry?
You mad bro? Drop rip my face off k? Do you like monsters? Do you like retro toys? These Mad Monsters Series 1 Action Figures are what you want to play with. You get Human Wolfman, Dreadful Dracula, Monster Frankenstein and Horrible Mummy. Why is Mummy horrible? Cuz she never leaves me alone when I’m playing video games and always makes me clean the cat box and stuff. Whatevs. She’s not the boss of me. I do what I want! I’m getting really off track here. The point is, these figures are cool.
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Set of 4 Mothman Cups
Now you can have a Mothman sighting every time you take a drink. This Set of 4 Mothman Cups gets the party started and fulfills the Mothman prophecies: Getting drunk AF while drinking from a monster cup.
The Mothman is a cryptid that was originally spotted in West Virginia, but you will see him everyday. He’s part man, part moth, all motha’f’er! A total badass. He’s got the wings to be your wingman. And when he scores you the chicks, he’s flying into a distant light like the majestic bast*rd that he is.
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