These Puffer Fish Taxidermy Lamps are all puffed up and spiky cuz these guys are the porcupines of the sea. Well, now you can light up your home with them. Hopefully without these things stabbing you as you hang them up. Hey, if your carpet isn’t a puddle of blood and if you haven’t lost an eye while redecorating, your lamps just aren’t cool enough. Pretty cool though. Just have an emergency professional handy when these arrive. And whatever you do, don’t sit on them by accident while having your coffee.
Tag: odd
Funko Krampus Pops – Not In Your Grocer’s Freezer
Tis the time of year for Krampus, which means that it’s also the time of year for Funko Krampus Pops. Sounds like frozen treats endorsed by the K man, but no, Krampus Pops are cool Pop Vinyl figures of the K man. I call him that cuz of his Ketamine addiction in the 90s. It’s cool, I can talk about it. We tight like that. Anyway, these cool figures come on several varieties and all have the Christmas spirit as only the Kramp-Man can deliver.
Goat Sucker! – Silver Chupacabra Necklace
Wear this Silver Chupacabra Necklace in honor of the world’s most famous goat sucker. Unlike the Chupacabra itself, this necklace does not suck. He’s in a sweet action pose like he’s about to pounce on his prey. Or at least just dive in a dumpster and snag half a big-mac. Hey, you gotta eat. So shiny. So deadly. So full of the blood of goats.
This Krampus Night Light Makes it a Scary Christmas
Krampus never sleeps. And neither does this scary Krampus Night Light. Krampus will be with you throughout the night. But is he protecting you or waiting for you to fall asleep so he can reward you for being naughty this year? I have no idea, but I want to put an everlasting gobstopper in that mouth, because the tongue really freaks me out.
The Ultimate Krampus Mug
I can’t wait to get this Krampus Mug and chug my beer from it, slamming it down and asking for another. This mug is worthy of Krampus himself.
One Christmas Krampus drank himself sober.
He awoke to find Christmas was over.
His sack was empty and filled with no child
He had vague recollections of drinking so wild.
So he sauntered away into a cave
where he rested all day, then went to a rave.
Then he waited all year
And had several more beers
And repeated the whole thing over.
That’s why we don’t see Krampus today. He has a drinking problem.