Tag: odd

American Horror Story: Hotel – Room 64 Door Plaque

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American Horror Story Hotel - Room 64 Door Plaque
Oh look, an American Horror Story: Hotel – Room 64 Door Plaque. What could possibly go wrong? Nothing bad ever happens in there, right? I’m just gonna hang this on my door. *Ding-Dong* A visitor already? Hello good sir? Of course you can stay here for a modest fee. I don’t make breakfast or the bed and the place is so dirty that even the roaches stay out. Enjoy your stay.

*Next day* Oh, I was sorry to hear that you were molested by our doll collection, which was possessed by demons at the time, but really controlled by the evil that is Lady Gaga, whose acting is almost as bad as her singing. Sorry you can’t have your money back. Here’s a coupon for next time that just expired.

Toast of the Zombie Goblet Set

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Toast of the Zombie Goblet Set
Ohhhh toast of the Zombie! I’ll have mine with extra butter. Crisp, but not too crisp. Just a light smear of jelly on top just like my pap use to give me. In other words just a pap smear! Ewwww. I’m so wrong! I’m so gross! Get over it cupcake! This Toast of the Zombie Goblet Set lets the Zombie hands make a toast for you. Cuz everything is classier with Zombie hands. I said so!

Nightmare Doll Head Orchid Planter

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Nightmare Doll Head Orchid Planter
What the hell is growing out of that doll head? This Nightmare Doll Head Orchid Planter looks like it has a parasitic infection that is out of control. Probably possessing it and trying to take over the world. That is nasty! No wonder I like it. Just plant your plants in this thing and watch the roots grow out of its ever-loving head. Looks like a demented clown baby.

Winged Skeleton Double Candle Holder

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Winged Skeleton Double Candle Holder
What the-? This Winged Skeleton Double Candle Holder just flew down and set itself on my mantle guys. I’m serious. This isn’t like the time I drank 2 bottles of nyquil because I thought I had early onset arthritis. Dude is pretty badass. He’s all like, Pfft I’ll hold your candles and make this shizz look heavy metal! Dude is totally macabre. I bet he has a huge wingspan too. Not that that matters. It’s not how big your wings are, but how you use ’em.
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Gothic Mary Shelley Pendant

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Gothic Mary Shelley PendantThis Gothic Mary Shelley Pendant celebrates the woman and the legend that gave us Frankenstein. Hmmm. If she created Frankenstein, does that make her Frankenstein’s monster’s monster? Frankenstein’s monster’s mother? I’m confused, but what else is new? She’s an attractive Chick-torian. I would have been all over her and her big fat royalty checks. Hey baby. Read your book today. I really liked it…