These Skeleton LED Gloves make your hands look like neon bones. I AM THE FUTURISTIC ROBOT SKELETON. Let’s get this rave started! Are raves still a thing? Do they rave about them? Does anyone have a spare pacifier I can borrow? One that hasn’t been in any orifices this time would be much appreciated. Yeah, very funny. Now turn down the lights and watch my hands do their thing!
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Tag: party
Edible Dracula Coffin Cookies
These Edible Dracula Coffin Cookies look delicious. I would buy ’em if I had the dough. Also would bake ’em if I had the dough. Which I dough not.
*Hack* *Hack* *Wretch* *Coughs all over a sheet of freshly baked cookies.*
You okay man? You sound like you’re hacking up a lung.
I’m fine. Just making some coughin’ cookies. Can’t make ’em without coughin’. *Looks at the recipe.* Ohhhhhhh. I see what I did wrong. Coffin, not coughin’! Oh well, everybody eat up. You might as well call in sick for work tomorrow right now. Patient zero is in the kitchen!
Update: These are cookie toppers. Not cookies. Cuz I’m a hungry idiot.
Cthulhu Mask
This Cthulhu Mask is perfect for those weird Illuminati parties that the elite like to throw, cuz it compliments stuff like goat heads and boobies. I’m totally buying this and filming a remake of Eyes Wide Shut. Only I’m going to call it Tentacles Wide Shut. It will be about a young Cthulhu who gets mixed up in this strange Illuminati world and finds out that there is a whole other reality happening all around him and that he is in fact, really Tom Cruise, the ancient smiling evil that will end us all.
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Shark Cake and Cupcake Toppers
Sweet! I wish someone had made me some Shark Cake and Cupcake Toppers like this when I was a kid. Since I am having a second childhood that began at 13 and is never-ending, I’m gonna get some for myself. Look at that friggin thing just bursting out of the cake! Bam! Shark’s here! Whatchu gonna do bout it? I’m gonna eat ya with a special 4-harpoon fork I designed myself, that’s what!
*Attaches harpoon fork to string. Loads it up in my air-gun. Pulls trigger. Harpoon impales that shark body DEEP!* Yeah son! That’s how it is!
*Reels him in and the shark falls off the cake, tumbling across the floor on it’s way to me. Picks it up and holds it to my mouth. Looks at the mountain of cat hair and dirt all over it.* Oh, hell no!
*Drops shark to the floor and cries like a two year old*
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Severed Finger Candles
These Severed Finger Candles will be perfect for any birthday cake that you want to give the finger to. Give it several fingers cuz you don’t give a f**k. I stared at this image of candles for like an hour already cuz someone flipped me off today behind a fence and I was trying to pick it out of a lineup. There! I finger that one.
If you will excuse me, I have to go now. I have a date with some finger food just as soon as I buy it with my five finger discount. Hopefully they won’t finger me in a police lineup. That sounded dirty. I apologize. Police only do that in dirty movies. Anyway, I give these candles 2 middle fingers up. It’s the highest honor I can bestow on them.