You gotta protect your neck from vampires. The best way to do it is with this Dracula by Bram Stoker Scarf. No vampire is going to bite your neck cuz they will be too busy admiring your scarf. You will be spared. Hell I spared someone the other night cuz- Did I say me? I meant a vampire friend of mine. I ain’t no bloodsucker. Can I have a bite of that burrito? *Chomp* Is that garlic? *HISSSSSSS* No one shall be spared this night!
Tag: scarf
Dracula Novel Book Scarf
Man, I really love this book. I’m all wrapped up in it. Get it? I’m all wrapped up in this Dracula Novel Book Scarf. Vlad the impaler? More like Vlad, the ensconcer. It’s a novel. It’s a scarf. For all I know, it’s a novel about a young scarf who thinks it’s a novel, but really it’s a drug-addled guy who is scarfing some food down. That’s some head-trippy inception stuff right there. Mind blown by that theory! Good think that theory bought my mind dinner first. Do I even know what I’m saying? I wouldn’t put money on it.
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The Truth is Out There X-Files Scarf
I hear ya. Why would I buy an X-Files Scarf in the middle of the summer? That’s what you’re thinking. Well, that’s what they want you to think. It’s a conspiracy, wrapped in a riddle, inside of an enigma, inside of a pit that holds a quagmire. They don’t want you to have a scarf and be prepared for the cold weather to come. So they hide the truth. Right in plain sight. Is it really summer? Are you sure? Maybe a false summer created by planes spraying chemtrails, cuz they modify the weather, cuz aliens need a warmer climate.
Buy this scarf, cuz when the resistance grounds those chemtrail planes and makes the planet colder, you’re gonna need it. Hope you like snow you alien freaks!
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Skeleton Brooch With Scarf
Is it cold in here or is my Skeleton Brooch With Scarf just crazy? You should have seen him last week, when he was wearing a moo-moo with an Indiana Jones fedora. Yeah, he’s just crazy! Stop dressing up ya old coffin dodger! Next you’ll be singing show tunes. *He starts singing show tunes. I cover my ears.* Fine! Fine! Wear whatever you want!
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Crocheted Skull Scarf
This Crocheted Skull Scarf lines your neck with a row of soft skulls, like you’re some savage wearing the skulls of other people. People made of crochet, who your people have no doubt wiped out in the name of fashion. You are gonna look super stylish. Skulls are in this year. How do I know? Every runway model is sporting one. And since they barely eat, you can see the whole thing on their gaunt faces.
Yeah, you gotta rock the skulls. And I don’t mean doing a drum solo on your noggin. Although that’s pretty fun too. Even if you have a headache for two weeks. I would wear this scarf. I like it so much I would scarf it right up. I ain’t spinnin’ no yarns.