Tag: spooky

Skull Lip Balm

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Skull Lip Balm
Chapped lips? Grab this Skull Lip Balm. It’s the balm. I ain’t giving you no lip… service. I don’t know you that well. See what I did there? All other lip balms seem boring compared to this. Every time you rub it against your lips it will look like you are sampling a tint skulls brains, which I consider a bonus. So moisten those lips on a skull.

The bottom of this lip balm is embossed w/ the quotation: “Be all my sins remember’d” from Hamlet. See, it will help you remember all of your sins too.

Creepy And Cuddly Poppet Pillow Toys

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Creepy And Cuddly Poppet Pillow Toys
Full disclosure. I have no idea what a poppet is, but I’m pretty sure it’s what the doctor removed from my rear. Rectum? No he destroyed ’em! Hahahaha. That’s a little butt humor right there. I apologize. I kept saying. Poppet! Just poppet!

Anyway… These Creepy And Cuddly Poppet Pillow Toys from doctormorose will look great in your home or mortuary. Say, isn’t that where Mort lives? That’s what mom used to say. That trip made me sad in my heart. Mort was not there. Only death. *Shudders*
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Nightmare Before Christmas Tea Set

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Nightmare Before Christmas Tea Set
I like to bring my Nightmare Before Christmas Tea Set out before Christmas. Obviously. Having tea with me is a nightmare, cuz I like a lot of sugar. One lump or two? Just one please, but make it the size of the cup! If there’s room for more than a thimble full of tea, you did it wrong.

Why am I so jittery? Why am I shaking? I just meant to set the cup down daintily, but now I’ve smashed it into a million pieces. Why am I pulling out my hair and laughing maniacally? Oh man, tea time always does this to me. I need you to chain me up in the basement and no matter how much I scream and struggle, do NOT unlock me! I’m about to go full Tasmanian devil in this mofo!
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Gothic Coffin Coin Purse

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Gothic Coffin Coin Purse
Some of you Goths are starting to get up there in age. It happens. Well, now you can be that cool old lady with the spider and death tattoos who carries this Gothic Coffin Coin Purse and takes forever to pay. I’ll be the guy further back in line making the comment about how Stevie Nicks didn’t age so well. Feel free to step back and punch me. What do you mean Stevie Nicks isn’t goth? Oh well. Goth, Gypsy… It’s all the same to me as long as you keep those caravans off my lawn and don’t steal any of the neighborhood children.

That reminds me of a good joke. What kind of computer does Stevie Nicks have? A PC? Nope. A Mac. A Fleetwood Mac. I’m a riot. That’s probably why the cops show up so often.
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Meditating Skeletons And Skull Mugs

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Meditating Skeletons And Skull Mugs
How often does a skeleton meditate? Oh, every now and zen. Haha, I crack me up. Check out these cool Meditating Skeletons And Other Skull Mugs from Etsy seller NicolePangasCeramics. That skeleton has attained enlightenment. Too bad he didn’t attain some meat on his bones. I don’t know anything about Buddhism or Hinduism, but I… Like big Buddhas and I can not lie…

Seriously, these mugs are pretty cool. They have all kinds of cool creepy looking drinkware. How do you get into a meditative state? Simple. Just relax your mind, empty your thoughts and cross the border. Whoa that’s deep. Deepak Chopra…
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