The legend of Ghost bat lives on! Ghost bat. Other bats fear him, because deep down inside, they want to be just like him. He’s a bat. He’s a ghost. He’s the ghost bat with the most. Screw that Casper guy. The Ghost-Bat Shoulder Bag is awesome. How they trapped the soul of a bat on a shoulder bag, I have no idea, but it is cool as f**k. eeekkkkkk. ekkkkkkkkkk. Wait, do they ekkk or shriek. Now I’m not sure. I know they like to poop in caves. Hey, it’s always preferable to poop indoors when given the choice. Otherwise you have to use this.
Tag: spooky
Have Not So Sweet Dreams: Freddy Krueger Pillow
Sweet Dreams. Not! This Freddy Krueger Pillow features Freddy’s silhouette against the background of his striped shirt. He’s coming for you when you sleep. You know it and I know it. The only thing left to do is to rest your head against this pillow and close your eyes. Then prepare to do battle with the dark demon of dreams.
*Closes eyes. Finds myself in dream world. Psyches myself up for combat with the nightmare man. Sees Freddy sitting at a park bench with a checkers board.*
Holy hell. Not this again. Just kill me already! I don’t care if you need practice. You can’t keep tutoring me like this. Fine, one more game! Then find someone else to play with.
Serial Killer Valentines
Serial killers need love too. If you love a demented killer, give them one of these Serial Killer Valentines. If you are a serial killer, give someone you love these valentines, but if you do, DON”T KILL THEM! I can’t stress that enough. It defeats the whole point of giving them a valentine if you kill them. Wait what? Well yeah, if you call yourself the Valentine’s Day killer I guess that’s fine. Not that I approve. I’m just saying you make a good point.
Blog post finished. Yes!
Now to check my mailbox for Valentines from fans. Sweet! Got one! Cool it has Jason Voorhees on it! *Gets impaled through the back and killed by a killer wearing a smiling heart for a head. *Dying breaths* It’s…you…Valentine’s Day…killer. *gasps. dies*
Orphanage Of Misfit Babes
The Orphanage Of Misfit Babes looks like a scary place. I was a misfit baby, mostly cuz I was one of those fat babies you see on Maury Povich. My clothes all misfit. Some even split down the butt while I played with my rattle in one hand and clutched a Mars bar that looked like runny poop in the other. Seriously though, this orphange is full of creepy orphans. Probably even has a harsh and bitter old maid in charge who hits your knuckles with a ruler. The adults inside are terrified, all clutching each other and screaming. I say just leave the kid and get the hell out. Actually, I don’t say that cuz that can be misinterpreted.
I’m really looking forward to the movie based on this sculpture. I just noticed a baby devil in the yard. Who slept with the devil? That’s as evil as you can get. And you know the devil ain’t gonna take care of your kid. So next thing you know, you are leaving your devil baby on the steps of the orphanage to be raised by nuns. Good luck with that nuns. That’s why they call them nuns you know. They don’t want none of that!
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Nosferatu Creepin’ Up Your Stairs…Coming To Get You
Oh hell no. Stay away from me Nosferatu. I see your shadow. Because I keep all of the lights on in case you boogeymen come to get me. All full of boogers and probably blowing your nose in some old handkerchief. I’m not scared of you. I’m just exiting the house and standing in the snow because I’m hot. That’s all. Do what you want in there. You own the place now. I’m a lover, not a fighter. I’ll sign the deed over first thing in the morning.
This is actually how I lost my first house, by giving it away to a Nosferatu vinyl decal I forgot was there. I hope he’s happy on his one wall, with no one to scream like a sissy every time I would turn the corner.
So basically what you have here is Nosferatu on vinyl. Great album. Had classics like, The Transylvania Twerk, It’s Raining Blood(Hallelujah), The Nosferatu Shuffle, You Are The Wind Beneath My Bat-Wings and my personal favorite, Your Neck, My Mouth.