Tag: spooky

Life Sized Coffin With Skeleton

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Life Sized Coffin With Skeleton
This Life Sized Coffin With Skeleton makes a great yard decoration, especially around Halloween time. Not sure why he is covering up his junk like he’s all shy. I mean we all know he has a bone…er. The question is why? Was it you who excited him or me? I think it was me. It wouldn’t be the first time a skeleton found me attractive. What? It could happen. Throw me a bone here.

Poor guy’s coffin isn’t quite big enough. That’s gotta be uncomfortable. Remember coffin making dudes, measure twice, cut once. I measure three times and cut loose. Foot loose! Then I kick off your Sunday shoes. Even if it’s Monday.

Wine Coffin Display

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Wine Coffin Display
This Wine Coffin Display lets you display your wine in style. Break this baby open and drink up. Pretty soon you will be seeing the dead. Would you like some wine? But of corpse! The seller also says that you can display a doll inside, but a doll never got you blind stinking drunk, so I’ll go with the wine. Gonna drink until I’m embalmed with sweet wine and when I’m gone you can bury my liver in this coffin. It worked hard to get me where I am after all.
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Scary Laser Cut Necklaces

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Scary Laser Cut Necklaces
These Scary Laser Cut Necklaces from CuriologyLtd are so spooky and scary. They will turn your neck into a haunted scene that will turn heads a full 360 degrees like in The Exorcist. But don’t worry, they won’t spit green pea soup at you as they are admiring your necklace. These scenic necklaces are all laser cut. Not phaser cut. Laser cut. Phasers don’t cut well enough, cuz it’s just a phase, but lasers? Lasers will cut you and blind you and kill space aliens. They probably cut these with a friggin’ ray-gun. Pew pew pew! Look what I created!

They have black magic cats, spiders, all kinds of creepy neck wear.
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Horror Book Themed Candles

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Horror Book Themed Candles
It’s been awhile since I sat down with a good book. You know why? Because books aren’t very good at conversation. Also, because books don’t have the internet with built in naughty websites. Books also don’t feed me. There’s actually a lot of reasons now that I think about it. At least now I can enjoy some good books with my candles thanks to these Horror Book Themed Candles.

These decorative candles from FirstEditionCandleCo have a little book attached and you can even use them as bookmarks. They will make your place look all creepy-like. Gotta say though, these are not that original. I created these back in the great fire of 1996 when I last read a book by candle light. The fireman gave me the candle covered book as a souvenir along with a slap to the back of the head.
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Custom Nosferatu Vampire Tank Dress

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Custom Nosferatu Vampire Tank Dress
Man, Nosferatu gets all the girls. Lucky guy. If I was clinging to that body the way this Nosferatu Vampire Tank Dress is, I’d get slapped. Is it a tank top? Is it a dress? I have no idea, but Nosferatu is on the scene, creeping around that girl’s boobies. Oddly enough I’ve heard the same phrase uttered about me. I have to work on my game. Right now I’m at checkers level, but one day I’m gonna be in the world championships of hitting on pretty women. Mind if I practice? Here are some pick up lines:

If I told you I loved Nosferatu, would you hold him against me?

Mind if I rub his bald head?

You must have turned me into a vampire girl, cuz I’m up all night thinking about you.

I think I need a lot of work.