Tag: spooky

Cute Zombie In Coffin Sculpture

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Cute Zombie In Coffin Sculpture
Make some room in your heart and on your shelf, for this Cute Zombie In Coffin Sculpture. This undead figure can be displayed in his coffin or out. He either just ate something super sour or he’s getting his tonsils checked by the zombie doctor. I have no idea. Oh and he took his own eyeball out.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a self-harming zombie before. He’s all about not living fast and undying young. Does that make sense? Again, I have no idea. I ran out of “medicine” today aka Box wine and I don’t know what’s going on with anything. You’re lucky I showed up at all. I was gonna call in sick, but there are just too damn many of you. It would have been a full work day just letting you all know and half of you would have thought I was lying about that lie about helping the old lady to the hospital after a squirrel attack.

Clawing Hand Wall Hangers

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Clawing Hand Wall Hangers
The hands! The hands are coming! To give you high fives from hell! Which I can only assume evaporates your hand with the burning fires of hades. These things are perfect creep decor for the home. Get some spiders and a skull to go along with these Clawing Hand Wall Hangers and you have yourself a portal to another world where dead people are reaching into ours.

I reached into a portal like that once, but that was only because I thought there might be a Snickers bar on the other side and I’m a diva when I’m hungry.

Gothic Skull Vessel and Pen Set

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Gothic Skull Vessel and Pen Set
Creeptastic! Holy Goth! This Gothic Skull Vessel and Pen Set will let you write all of your horror fan-fic, ransom notes, poison pen letters and other assorted weirdness. You get four skull-topped ink pens and a skeleton vessel to hold them in.

Man, I wish I had a skeleton vessel. “Full speed ahead!” I would shout from atop it’s spine, posed like George Washington leading the charge, as the skeleton beast walks toward the enemy. *Suddenly all of it’s bones shatter and leave me half-buried in a pile of bone.* “Damn you and your lack of calcium!”

Skeleton Dinner Plates

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Skeleton Dinner Plates
Skeleton Dinner Plates. Winner, winner, X-Ray dinner. Perfect for a plate of ribs or some macabre-roni and cheese. “You’re not leaving the table until that pelvis is clean!” But mom! “No butts! That’s a tailbone.” You mean a coccyx! “What did you say young man? Go to your room!”

Mom falls for that every time.

These plates would be great for an old sailing ship with a minimal crew. You know why? Cuz they have a skeleton crew. Hahaha. I got a million of ’em. 206 to be exact. That’s how many bones are in the human body! Hahahhaahaha

Bat Wings Mug

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bat wings mug
Ugh! I need my morning coffee. Where are my glasses? Where’s my awesome Bat Wings Mug? I think that bat-shaped blob might be it. Grabs wings with both hands. *Eeeekkkk-Squeakkkk* Why are you fighting me? *Straining to hold it still and get it to my lips.* I just want coffee! Stop biting my lips! Ow! *Mug flies out the window.*

There are my glasses. *Puts them on.* Hey, there’s my Bat Wings Mug. Hmmmmm. I guess that’s what I get for living in a belfry. Better search “rabies” on Google again.