These Skull Microphones Are Awesome

These Skull Microphones Are Awesome
Testing. Testing. 1. 2. 3. What the- Just realized my lips were next to one of these Skull Microphones. Sorry if I accidentally kissed ya. Just tryin’ to do a podcast here. I’m lying. I have no idea how to do one. My skill set is limited to acting like a jackass and accidentally entertaining you guys on a regular basis. Thanks for the gig.

These are skull microphones. They are awesome. Possible band names: Skull-Lee-O-Sis, The Brainiacs, Noggin McFloggin, The Chrome Domes… That’s all I got. I’m blinded by their shiny Terminator-like brilliance.

Gothic Bat Cameo Necklace

Gothic Bat Cameo Necklace
Check out this awesome Gothic Bat Cameo Necklace. It looks like it is straight outta Dracula’s jewelry box, but it is actually from TheCryptOfCuriositie. I remember the first time I entered their shop. I was curious about this and that and this and that and ooooo I just realized this is a crypt. Can I meet the Crypt Keeper? How does one keep Crypts anyway? Do you need a real estate license? It all sounds very cryptic. Are you a network of crypts? Are you at war with the bloods? Cool necklace by the way.

Steampunk Skull Jewelry Box

Steampunk Skull Jewelry Box
I need another skull decoration around here like I need a sword in the head. But I do need a Steampunk Skull Jewelry Box with a sword in the head. Everyone come to my house. The first person to pull the sword from the skull shall be king. Oh hell, that came away really easy. Oh well. Feel free to rule over my entire kingdom. *Looks around at my filthy hovel.* Hey, where’d ya go? Fine, I’ll continue being king, but I’m going to war with all of you.

Universal Monsters Coffin Coasters

Universal Monsters Coffin Coasters
Put some whiskey on the wolfman. These Universal Monsters Coffin Coasters will protect your furniture from your drinks. Cuz your drinks are monsters to your furniture. These coasters feature wolfman, Dracula, Frankenstein’s monster and the Creature from the Black Lagoon. Put your drink on the coffin, then take off your hat and say a little prayer. May it rest in peace. Amen. Now may it rest in my belly.

Ouija Board Panties

Ouija Board Panties
So you and the wife are wearing your Ouija Board Panties and getting ready to “summon some spirits” when your kid bursts through the door. Mommy, daddy, what are you doing? Well, you see son. When a man loves a woman very much, he eases his planchette across her board, until you hit just the right spot. That would be when your mother yells YES YES YES. Now get out of here and if you hear stuff banging around, it’s just some paranormal activity. Lock the door on your way out. Now where were we? Still in the mood babe? No? What do you mean GOODBYE? God Dammit!